Day 41. I Think - Therefor I am FUCKED

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own thoughts in where I think and believe that what I think is real so thus when I have thoughts that I would define/perceive as wrong I allow myself to go into fear and distress . I see, realize and understand that when and as I allow myself to go into reaction due to a thought I am actually giving the thought power and feeding it with energy through going even further in defining myself according to the thoughts that I have.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect either a positive or negative charge to different thoughts depending on a life-long programming in where I have learned to perceive certain thoughts as wrong and certain thoughts as right and thus within this would learn to define some thoughts as less okay than others – instead of seeing and realizing that no thought is real. I commit myself to acknowledge all thoughts as just thoughts/mental participations so thus I will not accept or allow myself to continue defining certain thoughts as more/less okay than others. I see the thoughts for what it is – illusions within and of my mind and within this I commit myself to stop the illusion and instead walk – here in this physical reality since that is the only thing that is tangible and real. I commit myself to de-program myself and stop myself when and as I see that I am feeding the polarity-construct of seeing thoughts as either positive or negative.

• I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that judging my thoughts brings me even deeper into the mind – in where I will connect and link judgments to the thoughts – instead of just breathing and stopping with the realization that it is illusions flowing around in my head-area. Within this I realize that nothing that is going on within the mind is real since it is not tangible/concrete – so thus the judgment isn’t real either. I commit myself to walk my process of becoming a real, tangible, concrete being that does not participate and feed the illusion of the mind but instead I walk towards awareness and direct myself within and as the physical as breath.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my thoughts and within this have defined/perceived certain thoughts as wrong so thus when such thoughts comes up I allow myself to go into reaction and define myself according to the thought in seeing me as wrong and thus fearing myself.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself inferior to the mind through thinking and believing that I can’t stop my thoughts – instead of seeing and realizing that all it takes is one breath, one decision, one standing up and saying “stop – till here no further” – I do not accept or allow myself to continue making myself inferior to the mind through thinking and believing that I do not have the power to stop my mental participation/illusions as the thoughts within my mind - but instead I see and realize that all it takes is to walk and direct myself within steadfastness and the tools of writing, directing and breathing.  

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself into thinking and believing that I can’t stop my thoughts – instead of just standing up and state STOP. Within this I see and realize that I have separated myself from the mind within thinking and believing that I do not/cannot control/direct the mind – instead of seeing and realizing that I am one and equal to my mind so thus I can stop in one breath.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a failure when random thoughts comes up and within this going into self-judgment for the thoughts that comes up – instead of just stopping and breathing. I see, realize and understand that when and as I give the thoughts attention I am feeding it with energy so thus I commit myself to stop myself from going into reactions because of my thoughts and instead I just breathe and stop.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated and frustrated at myself when I see and recognize that thoughts have been coming up randomly for a period of time without me being aware and directing myself out of the mind - and because of this irritation and frustration I am going into and participating in even more emotions/feelings/thoughts which only causes a vicious circle. I now see, realize and understand that I can’t accept and allow myself to judge/get angry at myself when thoughts comes up because that is only generating irritation and frustration so instead of this I let go and I breathe and say stop.