Day 57. Self-Love and Judgment

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unworthy of self-love and self-care and within that judgment would fear caring and loving myself in a belief and idea that that is wrong and that I do not deserve such a thing. I now see, realize and understand that this is mere a belief, existing within my mind, that I have fueled and supported through acting and living according to it. I see and realize that as long as I allow myself to act according to the belief of me not being worthy/deserving to care and love myself I am also making that into my reality. I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as I see that the belief of self-care and self-love being something wrong/that I do not deserve it – and instead I see and realize that this is mere a beLIEf, an illusion within and of my mind so thus within this I commit myself to stop the illusion as belief and instead make sure that I am here, doing what is best for and as the physical.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect, disregard and ignore my human physical body and the support/care I as my body needs – all because of a judgment within and of my mind saying that I am not worthy of self-care. I now see, realize and understand that my human physical body was always what was real and my mind as the judgment an illusion and thus I realize the stupidity in allowing myself to listen to an illusion rather than my human physical body which is here, tangible and real. I do not accept or allow an illusion within my mind as the judgment I experience to continue directing and dictating over my body but instead I commit myself to within this stand up and walk myself out of that judgment through pushing myself to do what is best for my body – so that I once and for all can stop fueling the judgment and making myself inferior to the mind.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind as the judgment to abuse my human physical body within thinking and believing that my judgment towards self-care and self-love is real, as who I am. I now see, realize and understand that I have allowed myself to make myself/see myself as inferior to the mind as the judgment and thus I allowed myself to comply and act according to the judgment for an extended period of time up until the point that I became completely enslaved, directed and controlled by the judgment within and of my mind. I commit myself to stand up from my enslavement to the judgment and instead direct myself to do what is best for my physical body. I commit myself to breathe through the judgment and stop allowing my mind to abuse my physical.

• I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I have never actually learned how to care for myself and love myself so thus I would instead believe the media and society and the message they gave and thus my interpretation was that loving and caring for oneself is wrong, bad and egoistical. I now see, realize and understand that I have to relearn how to care and love myself and stop myself when and as I see that I am going into resistance because of a belief and idea that self-care and self-love is wrong. I commit myself to stop myself when and as I see that I am going into an experience of self-love and self-care being wrong/bad/something I do not deserve and instead I breathe through that experience and realize that it is a beLIEf, it is not reality, it is not tangible, it is not here as life – thus within this I furthermore commit myself to stand up within that belief, breathe through it and actually move myself to do what is best for my physical body within humbleness and care.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will judge me as egoistic and spoiled if and when I love and care for myself practically and within this not seeing and realizing that what I fear is my judgment towards myself if and when I perceive it as if others are judging me for caring for myself as my human physical body. Within this I see and realize that when and as I allow judgment to exist and influence my inner world and reality I am also looking out at my external environment with eyes that has a veil of judgment – thus when I have judgment within I will see judgment without because everything that I experience in regards to my external world is being influenced/molded according to what I have accepted and allowed within. Thus within this I see and realize that if and when I think and believe that I others will judge me because I care for myself – I am actually the one allowing judgment to exist – because I wouldn’t allow judgment to exist within me then no one else’s judgment would matter/I wouldn’t see judgment within my world. Thus I commit myself to bring the fear of being judged back to self in where I see and realize that it is always my own judgment that is reflected in my external world – for me to see and realize where I am not standing clear from judgment. I commit myself to flag-point situations in where I experience it as if I am being judged and instead take that point back to self in where I investigate why I judge myself on that specific point.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into shame and embarrassment if and when I am caring for myself through taking care of my human physical body and within this would fear that others would see/understand that I am caring for myself - because of a belief and idea that I do not deserve taking care/loving myself through and with actual physical support and thus if I physically care for myself I would automatically go into fear that others will know/see that and thus go into shame/embarrassment because of an underlying belief and idea that self-care and self-love being something that is wrong.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into resistance/fear of doing something that supports my body such as using body lotion because of a belief and idea that I am thus doing something that is wrong. I see, realize and understand that this is completely ridiculous and has no sustainable/tangible reason so thus within this I commit myself to breathe myself out of that resistance and evaluate what is most important – my mind’s resistance/fear OR my actual, real, tangible human physical body that is here as unconditional support. I see, realize and understand that without my physical body I am dead, nothing, gone but that without my mind as the resistance/fear/judgment/beliefs/ideas I remain here – thus I commit myself to stop making myself inferior to the resistance/fear but instead move myself to do what is best for my human physical body – since that is what is real.

• I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that as long as I do not allow practical physical self-care and self-love then I will never be able to support others/care for others/love others practically and physically. Within this I realize that to do what is best for all – I need to first of all learn to do what is best for me as my physical – to not follow or allow my thoughts/emotions/feelings/desires/wants/needs to direct, control and influence me and the decisions that I make - but for me to stand up and see what would be best in each situation. Within this I see and realize that I am neglecting, disregarding and ignoring everything within this world and this reality when and as I do not allow myself to care for me – because the longer I wait with standing up for what is best for me, the longer I wait with standing up for what is best for all. I commit myself to take self-responsibility in caring for myself with the realization that when I do not care for me – I am also neglecting everything/everyone on this earth.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am not worthy of unconditional self-care and self-love but have instead created a belief and idea that I should only care for myself when my body is giving me signals that it needs support such as when I get sick/get pains/get exhausted and within this not seeing and realizing the separation in only giving my body support when and as it has reached a point in where it has to show me and force me into giving it the support that it requires. I commit myself to stop the separation and instead give myself and my body the support that it requires through self-care and self-love. When and as I see that resistance comes up because of beliefs and ideas about me not being worthy of support/self-care/self-love – I stop and I breathe through that experience and instead I just move myself to do what I see is supportive for myself.