Day 70. Who am I? Where am I? Am I?

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my own capacity to direct myself to doing what is best for all, including me – and within this not taking into consideration what I have done in relation to self-direction but only seen moments in where I had a window of opportunity to take a “better” decision and thus clinging on to those memories – creating a fear of making the same mistakes again. I now see, realize and understand that I have the tools to direct myself in each and every moment of breath and that I am enslaving myself to my past through seeing mistakes and thus projecting myself into the future – thinking that I might commit the same mistakes again. I do not accept or allow myself to continue doubting my capacity to direct myself to doing what is best for all, including me – but instead I commit myself to stop and breathe when experiences of self-doubt arises and instead I see and realize that I have learned from the past mistakes and thus I am capable of making the right decisions in the future. I bring myself back to here and I realize that all that matters is who I am in each and every breath – here.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own self-interest and that it will influence me to take decisions that is not best for all, including me – and within this would thus not trust myself as the directive principle of me but instead believe and think that my self-interest as the desires/wants/needs is “too strong” for me to be able to see through. I now see, realize and understand that this is merely a manipulation-tactic from and of my mind – to keep me inferior within the belief that my mind is more than me. I commit myself to bring forth my drive and motivation in relation to directing myself towards doing/taking the decisions that is best for all, including me – and not allow any more manipulation from an of my mind in regards to thinking and believing that my self-interest as desires/wants/needs is “more than” me as the directive principle of me. I commit myself to stop and breathe before I take a decision, cross-reference that what I do is based on common sense and on what is best for all – to prevent myself from taking decisions/doing things that does only serve the mind in its interest to keep directing me.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am inferior to my own mind as the desires/wants/needs that I am experiencing and thus would fear that I would act according to self-interest and not according to what is best for all. I now see, realize and understand that I decide who I want to be as the decisions I take in each and every breath and thus I do not accept or allow myself to continue MAKING myself inferior to my mind as the desires/wants/needs through THINKING that I am inferior and less than – but instead I realize that I decide, am I going to be inferior or stand equal to. Thus I commit myself to stop creating myself as inferior to my mind as desires/wants/needs and instead realize that I decide who I am and what I will accept and allow. I commit myself to stop thinking and thus making myself inferior to my mind as the thoughts/desires/wants/needs/experiences and instead walk with the principle of what is best for all life.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear “giving in” to my mind as experiences and thus neglect/disregard/ignore the physical as what is best for all – and within this created a fear of the consequences that would lead to in where I would thus think and believe that if I would to give in to experiences I would have to exist within constant self-blame and distrust towards myself – not seeing, realizing and understanding that if and when I “give in” to my mind as experience before life it is actually a decision that I am making. Thus I commit myself to stop manipulating myself through fearing “giving in” to my mind – I realize that fear is based on past experiences in where I did give in to my mind as experience before life – but that I am here now, not in my past, and in the now I have the capacity to direct myself in each and every moment of breath.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will “give up” on me and within that thinking and believing that what I fear is that others will not “believe” in me and my capacity to do what is best for all life – within this I now see, realize and understand that this is my point of not trusting myself and that I am projecting this onto others, in where I think and believe that I fear that others will judge me as incapable, not seeing and realizing that this is my point of thinking and believing that I am not capable – I commit myself to instead of trying to get others to see that I am capable – to show myself that I am trustworthy, capable and have the capacity – and thus walk this in my practical reality in where I stand up for life instead of experience. I commit myself to stop projecting my insecurity onto others in where I think and believe that I fear that others will “give up” on me and instead I commit myself to live self-trust and stand up within and as the capacity that I have to direct myself.