Day 71. The Decision That Change Lives

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed an experience to influence and control me in where I would participate within the experience, believing that it is real as who I am – and thus accepted that experience to direct me - instead of just taking a deep breath and direct myself out of that experience, to stand up from that experience and walk my day. Within this I see, realize and understand that I am self-sabotaging when and as I allow an experience through thinking and believing that the experience is there and thus I must allow it. I commit myself to in the future stop and take a deep breath and stand up within and as myself when and as I see that experiences are coming up and state –“I do not accept or allow an experience to influence/control/direct me and my day – I take a stance to direct myself and not comply to an experience”.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change myself from day to day dependent on what experience I have within my mind and within this not seen or realized that I can actually decide what I want to be in each and every moment of breath. But that I within this allowed myself to never be trustworthy or reliant because I allowed experiences to direct me and my expression – instead of me, walking myself as stability each and every moment here. I now see and realize that I do not have to accept this as me, I do not have to comply to experience – I can, as I have shown myself, take a breath and decide what I will accept and allow. Thus I do not accept or allow experience to direct, control or influence me throughout my daily participation but instead I commit myself to make sure that it is me who is in direction and control over what I allow within my life in every moment.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself inferior to experience in where I have been thinking and believing that the experiences is more, greater, than me and my directive principle. Within this I see, realize and understand that I have allowed myself to get manipulated by my mind in where I have made myself inferior/less than experiences as energies within and of my mind. I commit myself to take self-responsibility in where I do not accept or allow any more manipulation from and of my mind and thus do not accept or allow myself to make myself inferior to experiences – but instead I see and realize that I have the capacity to direct myself as to what I will allow. I commit myself to take a deep breath and stand up from experience and thus direct myself out of experience and into reality – in where I direct myself to do what is best for all.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it harder for myself through thinking and believing that experiences is greater and more than me and within this would thus go into heaviness, too-much-ness and overwhelmingness when I saw experiences coming up. I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as I see that I am going into heaviness, too-much-ness and overwhelmingness and instead see and realize that I do not have to accept these experiences within me. I commit myself to take a deep breath and state –“I do not accept or allow myself to make it harder for myself through believing that the experiences is greater and more than me – I decide what I accept and allow as me and I do not allow any more bullshit from and of my mind”.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed experiences to hinder and distract me from doing what is best for all, including me – in where I would get blinded and held back from supporting the physical as life just because of energetic experiences within and of my mind – in where I made the experiences greater and more than me through acting according to it in where I would thus take decisions based on energetic experiences instead of doing what would be the actual best decision for all, including me. Within this I now see, realize and understand that when and as I make decisions based on energetic experiences there will be consequences that I will have to deal with later on – and that this process is unnecessary since I will be time-looping and having to clean up my shit later on. I commit myself to in the continuation make sure that I am clear from experiences and energies before I make/take a decision and thus making sure that I do not base my decision on energy as experiences since that will not create a result that is best for all but merely a result that will be “best” for my mind as it will get more energy and more power. I commit myself to take my power back to me in where I decide and direct myself in each and every decision – in where I cross-reference with myself to make sure that the decisions is really based on what is best for all – and not based on an addiction to energy.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into regret because of decisions that I have made based on experiences in the past and within this would thus go into shame and self-blame because I knew that I had an opportunity to stand up from experience and instead direct myself to do what is best for all, including me – but I allowed experience as energy and the addiction, want, need and desire to attain more energy to direct and influence my world/reality and thus would allow myself to be consciously dishonest in following experience instead of life. I now see, realize and understand that regretting, feeling ashamed and blame myself for past decisions that I have made will not lead anywhere and that I within this is only placing yet another layer/dimension to events in the past in where I took decisions based on self-interest. Thus I do not accept or allow myself to continue living in the past through blaming, feeling ashamed and regret what I allowed in the past but instead I see, realize and understand that through holding onto the past in fear will only create more friction and conflict within myself in where what I fear must manifest if I do not stop the fear and direct it – since I will create my own fear through holding on to it. I thus commit myself to see and realize that I have learned from my past mistakes and thus I will make sure that I do not repeat the same mistakes again in where I allow myself to make decisions based on energy as experience. I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as I see that I am accessing a memory in where I made a mistake through taking decisions based on experience and thus going into shame, regret and self-blame and instead I stand up within myself and breathe through that experience, realizing that I am not my past – I am here – and what counts is what I allow here, in each and every breath.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste my time on energetic experiences – even though I know that it does not, cannot lead anywhere –except deeper into the mind, in where It the experience as energy will constantly run out and thus I would create new conflicts/frictions within me to create energy. I now see, realize and understand that the process of experiences as energy does not lead anywhere, it is completely useless and does not serve any purpose what so ever but to make me remain in a state of inferiority to my mind – in a never-ending-cycle of attaining energy, running out of energy, causing friction/conflict, taking substance and physicality to turn into experience – and thus going into an energetic experience once again and so on and so on. I do not accept or allow myself to continue giving my power away to my mind through allowing experiences as energy to exist and flourish within me but instead I commit myself to stop and breathe myself out of experiences and bring myself back to reality as life – in where I direct myself and in where I stand stable, firm, here.

• I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all it takes is ONE DECISION to stop experiences as energy – and that I within that one decision can change my reality and walk out of the mind and stop participation within energy  as experiences. But within this I see that I have allowed myself to manipulate myself into thinking and believing that “I do not have the power to do so” – and within believing in this statement I created myself as powerless and less than experience as energy. I now see, realize and understand that I am the directive principle of me, I have the capacity/capability/ability to say “No, to here no further!” and within this I realize that I am the one responsible for how I create my reality – that if I say that it is hard/difficult/tough to stop experience as energy – then I create it. I commit myself to stop manipulating myself into thinking and believing that stopping experiences as energy is hard/difficult/tough and instead I realize that I have the drive, the capacity to stand up within ONE DECISION, in where I take a stance within myself and STOP. I commit myself to, when and as I see that I am within an energetic experience – to take that one decision within myself and thus taking a stance to not participate anymore.

• I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that experiences as energy cannot be real – since I can stop it with one decision, one breath – and that only that which is sustainable and real is what is here physically, what remains constant within this physical reality/world. I now see, realize and understand that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect, disregard, ignore and diminish what is real, here, sustainable, tangible all because of illusions – as energetic experiences that only exists within and of my mind.  I commit myself to walk myself out of experiences as energy and within that see what is real, tangible here – and make sure that I, within this, base decisions on what serves everybody equally – as that which is best for all within this physical reality.