Day 74. It's Shameful to Rest - Fuck The Body

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as lazy/undisciplined and within that would thus go into shame if/when I am resting, taking it easy, reading or watching series – because of a belief and idea that resting/taking it easy is equivalent to being lazy and undisciplined – not seeing or realizing that the body needs rest to rebuild itself but within this would rather listen to my mind’s interpretation of what laziness is instead of listening to my body’s signals when it needs resting/taking it easy. I commit myself to listen to my body’s signals in relation to when it needs resting and within this stop and breathe when and as I see that thoughts/experiences of being lazy/undisciplined/ashamed arises and within this I thus commit myself to stop allowing my mind to abuse my physical.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do certain things with the starting-point of not wanting to seem lazy/undisciplined and within this allowed the fear of being seen as lazy to direct me – instead of me directing myself to do certain things.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that it is wrong to take it easy/rest – even when I am done with my daily commitments and responsibilities and within this would always search for “more” things that needs to be done, never giving myself a break – and if I would give myself a break I wouldn’t really rest because I would participate within an energetic experience within my mind in where I see it as if I am doing something wrong – thus never allowing myself to really let go and just rest my body but merely preoccupy myself within my mind thinking about what needs to be done/what I could do instead of resting. I now see, realize and understand that I am being too hard on myself and that I must re-learn what resting is, in where I commit myself to, when and as I am resting, to really relax, let go of the mind and bring myself into the physical so that I an energetic experience within my mind won’t prevent me from actually supporting my body. I commit myself to walk my daily responsibilities and commitments and when I am done with that I allow myself to really rest, in where I commit myself to stop and breathe myself out of the mind as the thoughts/experiences of me doing something wrong – and within this realize that without my physical body I am nothing and thus I must support my body as it support me.

• I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to listen to my physical body when it needs to rest but would instead compromise/neglect my physical signals because of how I have judged resting within my mind – in where I would see it as shameful and wrong to rest/just take a moment for myself to slow down and support my physical body. Within this I see, realize and understand that my mind’s judgments/beliefs/ideas cannot ever correspond with what is best for my physical body because within my mind I do not listen to my physical but am merely following the underlying belief of me not being good enough – thus within this I see and realize that I must stop my mind and let go of the beliefs and ideas and instead bring myself back to the physical, to that which is real, tangible – here. I commit myself to flag-point situations in where I see that I am listening/acting according to my mind’s judgments/beliefs/ideas about when to rest/not to rest and instead bring myself back to the physical – cross-reference with my body/what it requires and not allow my mind to interfere with that support.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear supporting my body through resting/taking it slow because of how I have judged and defined resting/taking it slow as being undisciplined – not seeing or taking into consideration my body and it’s signals that it is giving me and within this would thus allow my mind to abuse my physical through thinking and believing that my mind’s interpretation of resting/taking it slow being something that is lazy/undisciplined is more important than my physical body’s signals. I commit myself to stop my mind when and as I see that I am allowing thoughts/judgments/definitions in relation to resting/taking it easy and instead breathe myself back to the physical in where I listen to my physical’s signals instead of the illusionary signals within and of my mind.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push my body to the utter limit when I am working with something because of fear of being seen as lazy/undisciplined by others. Within this I now see, realize and understand that what others might think/my interpretation/perception of what others might think about me is NOT more important than my physical health – because without my physical I am nothing. I see and realize that I am responsible for how I experience myself - it does not have anything to do with others so thus when and as I see that I am going into fear of being seen as lazy/undisciplined by others – I stop and I breathe – I do not accept or allow myself to continue neglecting/disregarding/ignoring my physical health because of a fear within my mind of being seen as lazy/undisciplined but instead I commit myself to work with the starting-point of self-responsibility and thus cross-reference with my body and take it slower if my body’s signals tells me to – no longer neglect/disregard my physical because of an energetic, illusionary experience within my mind.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect/disregard/ignore my body and its signals - all because of how I interpret taking it easy/slow/resting within my mind and seeing it as something shameful/undisciplined and within this would resist taking care of my physical because of an idea/belief within my mind. I do not accept or allow an idea/belief within my mind to interfere/compromise my physical support but instead I commit myself to support my body and listen to my body’s signals and thus stop the abuse.

• I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to admit to others and myself that my physical is limited in relation to how far I can push it without it being compromised and within this would allow my fear of being lazy/undisciplined to actually compromise my physical body. I do not accept or allow my fear of being seen as lazy/undisciplined by myself and others to compromise my physical support and I do not accept or allow any more abuse towards my physical because of an energetic experience within my mind – I stop and I breathe – with my body.