Day 87. And God Created Jealousy

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the jealousy-character in where I would teach myself to compare myself to others, assessing who is ”better”/who has a “better life” and when I would define it as if another was/had it better in some way go into jealousy and fear of inferiority. I now see, realize and understand that I wasn’t born with this automatic behavior of comparing myself to others and then go into jealousy – it is something that I, as the creator of myself, created as a part of me/as a character through memories and past events in where I would see that competing with others was encouraged through/within/from school, sports and how other people in my environment lived their lives in where they would compare/compete with others – and within this I would thus take on/incorporate what I saw in my external world and start to live accordingly in where I would constantly compare/compete with others – because I became addicted to the experience of competition and I would thus do everything in my power to attain the energetic experience within my mind of being “better”/superior – and if I couldn’t define myself as “better” I would instead go into the polarity experience of being less/not good enough, seeing that I could be more/better like others and thus formed/created jealousy and thus within this I created the jealousy-character – not seeing or realizing that it is not me, but would instead think and believe that this is just who I am, and thus never questioned whether or not I really have to live like this in where I constantly go from one energetic experience to the next, constantly comparing/competing/assessing/equating who is the “best”. I now see, realize and understand to what extent this jealousy-character has influenced/controlled my life and all my relationships towards other human beings – in where I never allowed myself to stand equal to and one with others but instead separated myself from everyone and everything in my world/reality through constantly/continuously competing and comparing and thus preventing myself from getting to know beings and stand equal because if I experienced myself as inferior and jealous towards others I would immediately see them as a threat – not realizing that they are one and equal to me – that the separation does only take place within my mind and then I play out it in my daily living – thus becoming dishonest in my actions. I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-corrective application – walk myself out of the jealousy-construct/character and within this bring myself back to life in where I do not accept or allow myself to compare myself within my mind to my interpretation of others within my mind but instead stand equal to and one with every living being on this planet.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the jealousy-game in where it would become so automated that I never stopped and realized that I am the one creating the jealousy and through this stopping myself when I go into the jealousy-character. I now see, realize and understand that every time I go into jealousy/the jealousy-character I am abusing my human physical body because I allow myself to go into an energetic experience, feeding off substance/physicality, transforming it into energetic experiences within my mind and within this I am actually allowing myself to use and abuse my physical body all to attain an energetic experience within my mind that will eventually run out and when it does I would once again go into the jealousy-character – creating a never-ending-cycle of taking substance and turning it into energy – killing my physical body slowly but surely. When and as I see that I am going into/take on the jealousy-character through/when comparing myself to others – I immediately stop and breathe – I do not accept or allow myself to go into/create jealousy anymore but instead I see and realize that I am dishonoring life and my human physical body – therefor I commit myself to no longer exist within the jealousy-character but instead immediately delete/erase the character and bring myself back to here through breathing and living the decision to not allow myself to continue creating a never-ending-cycle of physical abuse.

• I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I am actually comparing myself to my own interpretation/perception of others within my mind – I am not comparing myself to the real reality of other beings and the real me, but merely comparing my own perception of myself to my own, self-created, perception of others – within this not seeing or realizing that I am going into jealousy because of an interpretation within my mind of others – but instead thinking and believing that I am actually jealous of others as their real being in this real physical reality. I now see, realize and understand that comparison does only exist within my mind so thus I am only comparing my interpretation/perception of myself to my interpretation/perception of others within my mind – and I do this only because the mind is striving to attain energy – and I am giving it energy through my participation in the jealousy-character. I now see, realize and understand that the only reason why I created the jealousy-character was because I as the mind wants/needs/requires energy to sustain in control/power over me and that I am constantly feeding this through and with my participation in the jealousy-character. I see, realize and understand that being jealous/comparing myself to others does not lead anywhere, it is completely useless and it only makes me imprison myself within my own mind in where I am never able to have real relationships with other people because I am constantly separating myself from myself and others through existing within my secret mind, comparing and going into jealousy. When and as I see that I am going into my mind and the jealousy-character in where I compare my interpretation of others to my interpretation of myself – I stop and I breathe – I do not accept or allow myself to continue separating myself from myself and others and life through going into the jealousy-character but instead I commit myself to bring myself back to here, walking myself as me and not accepting or allowing myself to continue imprisoning myself to my mind in where I am feeding the jealousy-construct with energy.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a society/system in where competitions is encourage within this world/reality and within this I would thus never walk as an example of change in where I interact with other beings as equals but would instead bring on/participate within the never-ending-cycle of abuse that people go through because of the encouraged competition-game and within this I would, with my participation within the game of competition, never stop the cycle and walk as an example in where I live self-acceptance, self-respect and self-trust but would instead accept the jealousy-game within this world/reality through my participation within the competition-creation. Within this I now see, realize and understand that I am responsible for how this system works because I am encouraging it through my participation and within this realization I commit myself to stop my participation in this game of competition/jealousy-game and instead bring a change to this world through walking myself out of the competition as an example for others to see that we do not have to exists in separation from each other – we have the choice and can make the decision to walk within equality and oneness. Within this I commit myself to see and realize my own responsibility; not only towards myself but also towards this world as a whole. I commit myself to take on this responsibility in creating a world that is best for all – in where no competition/jealousy-game will be encouraged from me anymore – I take the decision to stop my participation in the competition/jealousy-game and instead I walk with others – not separating myself from others through going into jealousy/competition/comparison.