This is a continuation to my previous post;
- I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to forgive myself because of fear of change in where I would fear to let go of my own self-interest, desires, wants and needs and everything that I exist as in this moment - because of a belief and idea that if I give those internal experiences up I will not be able to enjoy life but will merely become a zombie – within this not seeing or realizing that as long as I accept and allow myself to exist in and as my mind I am actually not being able to really enjoy life in real self-expression because I allow myself to limit myself to exist in self-interest, desires, wants and needs – not seeing or realizing that I am separating myself into pieces through thinking and believing that I need something more, something “out there” to fulfill me – and thus I would, throughout my entire life, search for things outside of myself to fulfill/complete me – not seeing or realizing that I was always here all along – but that I accepted and allowed a belief to exist within me in where I thought that I need to search for separate things outside of me to be able to “find myself”. I now see, realize and understand that when I am looking for things outside of me to fulfill/find myself I am actually separating myself from me – because I do not accept or allow myself to be here, accepting myself completely, but instead think and believe that there is something “more” out there that I must find so that I can become completed. I realize that self-forgiveness is the only way for me to bring all those pieces back together – in where I see and realize that I do not need anything separate from me to “fulfill me”, that I do not need anything “out there” to find/complete myself. Within this I do not accept or allow myself to continue being directed by my fear of change and thus not apply self-forgiveness because of fear of giving up my internal self-interest, desires, wants and needs but instead I see and realize that as long as I allow self-interest, wants, needs and desires to direct and control me I am actually living as a zombie, that always will remain as a slave to my internal experiences, and never actually accept me here and now – in realizing that I am complete, I am here. I commit myself to push through my resistance in relation to fear of the change that I will go through when I apply and live self-forgiveness and furthermore I commit myself to, through self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-corrective applications, walk myself out of the self-interest, desires, wants and needs – to within this find out what life and enjoying life in full self-expression is really about – to stop limiting myself through thinking and believing that without my internal experiences I will not be “fulfilled”. Because within this I see and realize that as long as I exist as my internal experiences I will actually always exist within separation from me, from life and from other beings on this earth.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ask others for forgiveness when I experience it as if I have done something bad/wrong and within this would thus ask for forgiveness so that I could temporarily free myself from the experience of guilt – but within this not seeing or realizing that when I do not forgive myself I am actually abdicating my self-responsibility because I am dependent on other people’s forgiveness, and within this not investigating myself as to why I experience guilt when I have done something that I would define as bad/wrong but instead accept that internal experience and ask others to free me from it through asking them to forgive me. I now see, realize and understand that I am accepting and allowing myself to make the same mistakes over and over again when I am asking others for forgiveness because I am not looking at the origin/cause/source of what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become/done. Within this I now see, realize and understand that when I ask others for forgiveness when I have done something apparently wrong or bad I am actually continuously saying that “sometimes I do bad/wrong things, but it is okay because I am being forgiven” – so within this I am actually not taking full self-responsibility in where I first of all forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as wrong/bad and I am not taking self-responsibility through investigating if what I have defined as “wrong/bad” is actually leading to consequences that is not best for all – and through that assessment realize whether or not I need to change what I am doing so that I can treat others as I would like to be treated. I now see, realize and understand that I am self-sabotaging when I ask others for forgiveness through not first investigating within myself why it is that I want others to forgive me – and within that taking self-responsibility through applying self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-corrective application – in where I take self-responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become internally and the actions I take externally and through that see and realize what it is that I need to change to start to live according to what is best for all. Within this I commit myself to stop abdicating my self-responsibility through asking others for forgiveness without looking at the point myself first – to within this assess why it is that I want forgiveness – and within this I commit myself to, when I feel that I have to/want to ask for forgiveness, stop for a moment, look at the point within myself with self-honesty – in where I thus firstly give myself the opportunity to release myself from my internal experience through and with the use of self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-corrective applications – to within this take self-responsibility in making sure that I actually make a practical, living change through taking full self-responsibility through forgiving myself and then changing – so that I make sure that when I ask others for forgiveness I am actually stating that I see that what I have done does not serve what is best for all and therefor I take the opportunity to see my mistake and correct it.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that all my internal experiences such as my thoughts/emotions/feelings is me as who I am and therefor believing that self-forgiveness is stupid because that is like saying that I have to stop myself from experiencing me – within this not seeing, realizing and understanding that I have actually never experienced me because I have silenced myself down through existing as and within the mind as the thoughts/internal conversations/emotions/feelings and within this have just accepted that to be me because I never knew anything else. Within this I have accepted and allowed internal experiences to direct me in every decision I have made throughout my life and eventually my internal experiences became me benchmark for how I should live. I now see, realize and understand that through self-forgiveness I can release myself from the mind through taking self-responsibility for all that I have become as the mind and within that process starting to see who I really am – because I deceived myself to start to believe that I am my internal experiences, not seeing or realizing that it was just a lie all along – that my internal experiences is in fact NOT me – it never was, but since I allowed myself to define myself according to my internal experiences I eventually lost myself as my self-direction. I within this do not accept or allow myself to continue justifying not applying self-forgiveness through believing in the statement “I am my internal experiences such as my thoughts/internal conversations/emotions/feelings” – but instead I see and realize that this was never me and that I have never experienced me as who I really am – because who I am is the physical, I have just silenced it down through living in my mind. Within this I commit myself to release myself from my illusionary idea that I am my mind and instead start to applying self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-corrective applications/living – to within this see and realize that my internal experiences was in fact never me, it was just an illusion that I kept myself entrapped within. Furthermore I commit myself to stop thinking and believing that I am the illusion and instead use the physical as a benchmark – in where I see and realize that everything that is here, tangible, physical is real – and everything that I cannot see, cannot touch and cannot physically feel – is an illusion, is not real. And to within this walk myself out of the illusion as that which is not real and instead back to the physical, as the physical being that I am.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that something outside of me can fix what I am experiencing internally and within this I have accepted and allowed myself to search for answers to my “problems” out there, through self-help-books, therapists, psychologists etc. not seeing or realizing that the only one who can walk myself out of my problems is me – because I was the one creating them. Within this I also see and realize that I can take support from others, I can use the support and the tools that is available – but in the end, it is me who has to make the living change, the living decision to stand up for and as myself to walk myself out of my internal experiences and back to life. Within this I commit myself to stop postponing taking care of/stopping my internal experiences through thinking and believing that the answer is “out there” – and instead see and realize that I am the solution, I am the one who created myself this way and thus I am the one who has the key to change. I furthermore commit myself to take on the tools/support that is available to within this incorporate others support to support myself, and I see, realize and understand that I am the one who decides what I want to accept and allow myself to experience within, because after all I created it all.
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