- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to want, need and desire other people to react in a specific
way as a response to the image I present to the world – where I within this
have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the reactions I
may/might trigger within other people defines who I am in the context of my
value and worth – where I see and realize that I am basically utilizing my
perception of how other people respond and react to and towards the image I
present of myself to the world to measure who I am and to gauge my value and
worth– and so within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed
myself to develop a well-grounded understanding of the true nature of personal
value in the sense of actually valuing life and real living – in relation to
developing and investigating what real living, real expression is and means –
but have instead accepted and allowed myself to form an alternate reality as a
result of allowing myself to adopt the distorted views that I have been
presented with from this external world/reality – without ever questioning or
investigating the beliefs, ideas and ideals that I have endorsed in terms of
looking at and really live the understanding of how limiting these beliefs are,
where I see and realize that the ideals and self-beliefs that I have formed and
adopted as a result of the distorted views this external reality promotes are
merely just opinions, ideas, beliefs – which means that they are not real, not
tangible, not based on what is best for all or even based on any real value
what so ever – and yet, I have allowed myself to mold my viewpoint about/of
myself according to this.
- In this I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear not feeling secure with myself as a person,
where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search and
look for inner peace and security connected to feeling good about who I am
through seeking approval from my external reality and other people, and within
that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate
myself from internal stability in terms of actually standing with who I am and
so trust myself, accept myself and give myself approval – and I forgive myself
that I have within this accepted and allowed myself to create a
polarity-construct in the sense of believing myself to require approval and
validation from external sources to be able to ‘feel secure’ – and so
consequentially manifesting the other side of the polarity, as the fear of external
disapproval, criticism and rejection and the perception thereof – and so within
that becoming dependent on external factors to feel approved of instead of
seeing and realizing that remaining within such dependency on external factors
to feel approved of, I will consequentially always remain within this
polarity-game, this constant internal conflict and friction of fear and desire
– where how I see myself will be in the hands of things that I have no control
over.
- I commit myself to assist and
support myself within situations and moments where I see that my starting-point
behind something I feel the need to say or do is based on the internal
experience of wanting approval from my external reality/other people in
relation to the want, need and desire to stimulate/trigger specific reactions within
other people and when I see that my starting-point is based on fear of
rejection/criticism/disapproval – and so within that re-instruct myself to no
more accept and allow myself to let an experience of wanting approval/validation
or fearing rejection to be the starting-point behind who I am, how I am or what
I say/do – but instead I immediately stop and breathe, where I take a moment
and so re-establish my starting-point to no more accept and allow myself to
search and look for approval/validation outside of myself – and so in that see
and realize that to stop the fear of criticism, rejection and disapproval I require
to stop the search and desire to stimulate/trigger specific responses within
others to/towards me, since it is based on the same belief – as the belief I
have created in relation to placing my own worth and value within the
perception I form of what and how other’s sees and feels about me.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear experiencing and interpreting it as though other
people within my surrounding are more aligned with the ideal I have formed
within the mind in relation to who I believe that I have to be as the
self-image that I have come to perceive myself to require as a result of what I
have learned to see as appreciated/valued by others – in the context of looking
at who and how one must be to reactive positive feedback as
validation/confirmation/attention/appreciation from other people, and within
where I believe myself to require appreciation and being seen as a worthwhile
person by others for me to be able to see myself as worthy – and within this I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe
that this would apparently mean that I am less than and inferior to beings
which I perceive to be more aligned with the idea I have formed of what the
ideal self-image is – not seeing or realizing that I am the only one making
myself feel less than and inferior – that this experience is a result of the
consent and value I allow myself to give to the belief I have formed in regards
to what the ideal self-image is and further giving value to the idea that
beings are either superior or inferior dependent on how aligned/affiliated the
self-image that they present to the world is to the ideal I have formed and
given value to within my mind as well as the value I give to the perception I
form of how other people see me and respond to how/who I am.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to go into a reaction of fear when and as I
perceive another person to get
recognition/validation/confirmation/attention/appreciation from others – and
within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear which
would emerge to trigger an automatic pattern that I have formed, in where I
automatically will attempt and try to deteriorate, diminish and discredit other
people within the mind whenever I perceive a being to be better than me, more
aligned with the ideal self-image that I have formed within the mind or if I
perceive another person to get more
validation/confirmation/attention/appreciation than me – wherein I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to either make the person appear
less than/not worthy of the recognition through secretly diminishing the being
within my mind where I’m essentially searching and looking for aspects with the
being that I can utilize as a means to make myself feel and see myself as less
inferior, or allow myself to go into an experience of myself as being less than
where I just submit to and fully trust the belief and idea of myself as being
less worthwhile as a person.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to go into a competition-construct within the mind
when and as I perceive another person to receive recognition from others for how
or who the person is or for something that the person has achieved, wherein I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed instances where I perceive or
interpret it as though another person is getting recognition to be and become a
trigger-point that activates an automatic response within me, consisting of the
experience of being challenged, where I believe that the self-image that I
present to the world is being challenged – and in this have thus
consequentially allowed myself to separate myself from, compare and compete
with the being that I perceive to get attention/confirmation/validation/recognition
– thinking and believing that my value and worth are at stake – and so
believing that I require to assure my own worthiness as a person through
changing who and how I am to be more aligned with what I see others to get
recognition for.
- I commit myself to assist and
support myself within situations where I see that another person/other beings
are getting recognition from the surrounding; through within that being aware
of the tendency I have of going into fear – where I realize that the fear is
the automatic response that triggers the pattern of going into either an
internal competition through comparing and judging myself and my own worth in
comparison to the other being/beings or the pattern of going into the mind
where I’ll attempt/try to deteriorate, diminish and discredit other people due
to believing that my self-image is at stake – and so within this I commit
myself to prevent myself from going in to this construct through being aware
of, and flag-point, these situations/occasions – and so within that no more
accept and allow myself to take it further when and as I see that fear starts
to emerge, but to instead immediately stop and breathe when and as I see myself
reacting to/towards the perception I form of other people’s achievements and
the recognition they’ll get – and so within me I assert myself to not participate,
to not go into the pattern of comparing/competing/judging – but instead stand
within who I am, and so reinstruct myself within the moment and realize that I
know where this takes me, that this that is coming up within my mind is not so
cool, really not assisting and supporting me and it’s really actually fucking
me up within myself and my physical and my life – and therefor I take my place
within myself, within my mind, relationship to I am and relationship to my
physical body and so stand in that position of really taking responsibility for
who I am, for what I want, for how I want to be, for how I want to experience
myself and my physical and my life within this world and reality.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear the experience of not being confident when being
with or around other people – and within this I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the only way for me to reassure
that I prevent and evade the experiences of being uncomfortable and unconfident
is through becoming as aligned and affiliated with the ideal that I have formed
within the mind as I possibly can, so that I can present this ideal self-image
of myself to the world – and within this I forgive myself that I have not
accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that experiences of
being uncomfortable and unconfident comes from within, as a result of my
internal participation within self-judgments stemming from the basic idea I
have formed of myself – and that solving these internal experiences of being
uncomfortable and unconfident in certain situations will not and cannot be done
through allowing and giving my consent/approval to self-judgments, and the
experiences it result in, to decide who I am or my self-worth – because within
that I am merely feeding and generating the program that I have formed within
me – where I see and realize that changing ‘who I am’ externally as an attempt
to become more aligned with the ideal self-image that I have formed within the
mind, will and can merely suppress the symptoms as the internal experiences of inadequacy
for so long, since I am not actually in any way changing, like really changing
who I am within in the sense of establishing actual self-confidence – but am
only creating a shielding layer as a measure of protection which I can hide
behind to feel better about myself for just a while – until I find yet another thing
about me that is not aligned with the ideal self-image. And so I see, realize
and understand that to really establish actual self-confidence I require to
stop this program, to stop this from the within to the without – where the only
solution lays within me, within me as my self-awareness.
- And so I commit myself to see,
realize and understand that I have the capacity, the ability and the
responsibility to decide what I am going to accept and allow within me and so
without – where I realize that emerging as that self-awareness is a decision
that has to be made in practical reality, and so I commit myself to assist and
support myself within situations where I see that judgments emerges within me
and so I immediately stop my participation, I breathe and I bring myself back
to here – where I stand as that awareness, leading my own life and thus
standing as that decision to no more accept and allow myself to attempt and try
to suppress the symptoms of the basic idea I have formed of myself in the
context of being inadequate through attempting and trying to mold and align
myself to become more like the ideal self-image that I believe to exist – but instead
I face the basic idea that I have formed of myself and so stop accepting and
allowing self-beliefs to tell me who I am – and so start directing myself
within the situations where I see that the experiences of being uncomfortable
or unconfident emerges – where I, within my awareness, realize that this is
merely an experience, it does not mean that I have to go into, give value to or
trust it – and so therefor I commit myself to practice this point of
practically asserting myself within these situations where I direct myself not
to take the judgments or experience of being unconfident personally – but instead
within me decide to give myself the opportunity to find out what would happen
and how it would be when I do not go into it or trust it to be me but instead
just state ‘No, till here no further’.
