- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear experiencing and interpreting it as though other
people within my surrounding are more aligned with the ideal I have formed
within the mind in relation to who I believe that I have to be as the
self-image that I have come to perceive myself to require as a result of what I
have learned to see as appreciated/valued by others – in the context of looking
at who and how one must be to reactive positive feedback as
validation/confirmation/attention/appreciation from other people, and within
where I believe myself to require appreciation and being seen as a worthwhile
person by others for me to be able to see myself as worthy – and within this I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe
that this would apparently mean that I am less than and inferior to beings
which I perceive to be more aligned with the idea I have formed of what the
ideal self-image is – not seeing or realizing that I am the only one making
myself feel less than and inferior – that this experience is a result of the
consent and value I allow myself to give to the belief I have formed in regards
to what the ideal self-image is and further giving value to the idea that
beings are either superior or inferior dependent on how aligned/affiliated the
self-image that they present to the world is to the ideal I have formed and
given value to within my mind as well as the value I give to the perception I
form of how other people see me and respond to how/who I am.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to go into a reaction of fear when and as I
perceive another person to get
recognition/validation/confirmation/attention/appreciation from others – and
within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear which
would emerge to trigger an automatic pattern that I have formed, in where I
automatically will attempt and try to deteriorate, diminish and discredit other
people within the mind whenever I perceive a being to be better than me, more
aligned with the ideal self-image that I have formed within the mind or if I
perceive another person to get more
validation/confirmation/attention/appreciation than me – wherein I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to either make the person appear
less than/not worthy of the recognition through secretly diminishing the being
within my mind where I’m essentially searching and looking for aspects with the
being that I can utilize as a means to make myself feel and see myself as less
inferior, or allow myself to go into an experience of myself as being less than
where I just submit to and fully trust the belief and idea of myself as being
less worthwhile as a person.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to go into a competition-construct within the mind
when and as I perceive another person to receive recognition from others for how
or who the person is or for something that the person has achieved, wherein I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed instances where I perceive or
interpret it as though another person is getting recognition to be and become a
trigger-point that activates an automatic response within me, consisting of the
experience of being challenged, where I believe that the self-image that I
present to the world is being challenged – and in this have thus
consequentially allowed myself to separate myself from, compare and compete
with the being that I perceive to get attention/confirmation/validation/recognition
– thinking and believing that my value and worth are at stake – and so
believing that I require to assure my own worthiness as a person through
changing who and how I am to be more aligned with what I see others to get
recognition for.
- I commit myself to assist and
support myself within situations where I see that another person/other beings
are getting recognition from the surrounding; through within that being aware
of the tendency I have of going into fear – where I realize that the fear is
the automatic response that triggers the pattern of going into either an
internal competition through comparing and judging myself and my own worth in
comparison to the other being/beings or the pattern of going into the mind
where I’ll attempt/try to deteriorate, diminish and discredit other people due
to believing that my self-image is at stake – and so within this I commit
myself to prevent myself from going in to this construct through being aware
of, and flag-point, these situations/occasions – and so within that no more
accept and allow myself to take it further when and as I see that fear starts
to emerge, but to instead immediately stop and breathe when and as I see myself
reacting to/towards the perception I form of other people’s achievements and
the recognition they’ll get – and so within me I assert myself to not participate,
to not go into the pattern of comparing/competing/judging – but instead stand
within who I am, and so reinstruct myself within the moment and realize that I
know where this takes me, that this that is coming up within my mind is not so
cool, really not assisting and supporting me and it’s really actually fucking
me up within myself and my physical and my life – and therefor I take my place
within myself, within my mind, relationship to I am and relationship to my
physical body and so stand in that position of really taking responsibility for
who I am, for what I want, for how I want to be, for how I want to experience
myself and my physical and my life within this world and reality.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear the experience of not being confident when being
with or around other people – and within this I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the only way for me to reassure
that I prevent and evade the experiences of being uncomfortable and unconfident
is through becoming as aligned and affiliated with the ideal that I have formed
within the mind as I possibly can, so that I can present this ideal self-image
of myself to the world – and within this I forgive myself that I have not
accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that experiences of
being uncomfortable and unconfident comes from within, as a result of my
internal participation within self-judgments stemming from the basic idea I
have formed of myself – and that solving these internal experiences of being
uncomfortable and unconfident in certain situations will not and cannot be done
through allowing and giving my consent/approval to self-judgments, and the
experiences it result in, to decide who I am or my self-worth – because within
that I am merely feeding and generating the program that I have formed within
me – where I see and realize that changing ‘who I am’ externally as an attempt
to become more aligned with the ideal self-image that I have formed within the
mind, will and can merely suppress the symptoms as the internal experiences of inadequacy
for so long, since I am not actually in any way changing, like really changing
who I am within in the sense of establishing actual self-confidence – but am
only creating a shielding layer as a measure of protection which I can hide
behind to feel better about myself for just a while – until I find yet another thing
about me that is not aligned with the ideal self-image. And so I see, realize
and understand that to really establish actual self-confidence I require to
stop this program, to stop this from the within to the without – where the only
solution lays within me, within me as my self-awareness.
- And so I commit myself to see,
realize and understand that I have the capacity, the ability and the
responsibility to decide what I am going to accept and allow within me and so
without – where I realize that emerging as that self-awareness is a decision
that has to be made in practical reality, and so I commit myself to assist and
support myself within situations where I see that judgments emerges within me
and so I immediately stop my participation, I breathe and I bring myself back
to here – where I stand as that awareness, leading my own life and thus
standing as that decision to no more accept and allow myself to attempt and try
to suppress the symptoms of the basic idea I have formed of myself in the
context of being inadequate through attempting and trying to mold and align
myself to become more like the ideal self-image that I believe to exist – but instead
I face the basic idea that I have formed of myself and so stop accepting and
allowing self-beliefs to tell me who I am – and so start directing myself
within the situations where I see that the experiences of being uncomfortable
or unconfident emerges – where I, within my awareness, realize that this is
merely an experience, it does not mean that I have to go into, give value to or
trust it – and so therefor I commit myself to practice this point of
practically asserting myself within these situations where I direct myself not
to take the judgments or experience of being unconfident personally – but instead
within me decide to give myself the opportunity to find out what would happen
and how it would be when I do not go into it or trust it to be me but instead
just state ‘No, till here no further’.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to, within the state of my beingness which is based on
negativity, constantly and continuously anticipate and expect the worst in the
sense of internally/mentally preparing myself for failure and despondency – and
so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
constitute and base my relationship to my external world and reality on the
imaginations I form within the mind in relation to the worst possible outcome
and scenario – where I have accepted and allowed myself to, within and
throughout my life, think and believe that through utilizing and existing
within this construct/relationship to my external world/reality I am in a way
‘prepared’ and geared for all the worst possible outcomes/situations that
may/might emerge within my reality – and within this accepting and allowing the
imagination to be and become the driving-force behind my external participation,
where I just automatically give value to and trust the expectations and
anticipations that comes up within the mind and in that not seeing or realizing
how I am through this actually perpetuating the reverberating negativity, where
I am accepting and allowing negativity to permeate and influence my
relationship to me and so my relationship to this world as a whole – and so within this I see, realize and
understand that I am accepting and allowing myself to generate and perpetuate this
state of negativity through accepting and allowing myself to exist within a
construct where I give value to, trust and follow the imaginations where I anticipate
and expect ‘the worst’ – and how I am within this not actually ‘preparing’ for ‘the
worst’ but am instead creating and manifesting a constant experience of things
being ‘impossible’, where I am actually not even giving myself the opportunity
to just do what I see needs to be done but am instead already before preparing myself
for failure, which in itself will create failure – because within this I see, realize
and understand that when I have allowed myself to ‘make up my mind’, in the
sense of accepting the imaginations that comes up as expectations of an
outcome, I have already created and manifested that outcome and will
consequentially manifest it within my practical reality – where I see and
realize that I am creating and accepting limitations through forming an
expectation within the mind in relation to the result of things.
- Therefor I commit myself to assist
and support myself within situations and moments where I am faced with a
task/responsibility or see something that I must do and when I notice that back-chats
such as; “I won’t make it” starts to come up within the mind, I immediately
stop and take a deep breath, in where I slow myself down within the moment and
in that stand as the directive principle of me – in where I take the decision
to no more accept and allow myself to create and manifest limitations through
forming and trusting a belief of myself as ‘not being able to make it’ – but instead
I stabilize myself here until no energy is moving me – but where I instead take
a stance to move myself, where I furthermore commit myself to live self-trust
through practically do what I see needs to be done and within that realize that
I can only do my best – but that when and as I accept and allow myself to
anticipate failure I am actually self-sabotaging through creating and
manifesting that limitation as something that I accept as a part of me – and therefor
I no more accept and allow myself to limit myself through trusting imaginations
in relation to whether I will manage to do things or fail, but instead I bring
myself back to here and so trust myself and my capacity to be here and so do my
best in every moment.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed my whole approach to/towards my practical participation within school
and to/towards my daily responsibilities to be and become permeated and
infiltrated by an internal sensation of negativity – where I forgive myself
that I have, within and throughout my life, accepted and allowed negativity to
be and become a constant underlying sensation within me in where I continuously
am attempting and trying to balance that negativity out through pushing myself
harder within what I participate in – thinking and believing that I will be
satisfied and at ease if only I become better at what I do, if only I become
perfect and do not have to put so much effort into school, if only I become
soooooo good that it will just ‘come natural’ – lol. And so within this I see,
realize and understand that I have formed and manifested an approach and
attitude towards my life in where I am in a way thinking and believing that the
state of negativity and underlying sensation of ‘not being satisfied’ is
somehow based on and linked to how hard I must work, how much effort I require
to put into things and how ‘being perfect and attaining perfect results in my
practical participation’ does not come ‘natural’ to me – and in where I am
utilizing these beliefs to move and push myself – believing that I will be
satisfied and at ease only when ‘things come natural to me’ in the context of not
having to ‘work hard’ but instead just kind of like having ‘an easy life’.
- And so within this I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to counteract and
balance out the inherent state of my beingness which is based on negativity
through, without even seeing or being aware of it, constantly search and look
for the polarity of positivity to cover up and suppress this reverberating
negativity – where I have accepted and allowed myself to search for this
positivity and attempted to become satisfied with my life and so with myself
through pushing myself to become better at what I externally participate within
– not seeing or realizing how I am and have always been trying to escape the
internal constant negativity through searching for an experience of being
satisfied with life and with myself outside of me – not seeing or realizing how
I am merely within this separating myself from me, because in this I have just
unconditionally and unquestionably accepted and absorbed the inherent sensation
and state of negativity where I thus continuously anticipate and assume that
things will be hard and tough for me, that I have to work really hard all the
time and that I require to be ’prepared for failure’.
- In this I furthermore forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my life and daily participation
complicated, difficult and a burden through just allowing myself to assume and
anticipate that things will be hard – not seeing or realizing that I can
actually decide for myself how I will approach things, that existing within a
constant state of negativity will not, and cannot, actually help me in any way
– and so I see, realize and understand that I require to take my life in my own
hands and in that stop this state of my beingness, to stop the sensation of
negativity and in that furthermore stop the continuous attempt to cover it up
through attempting to attain the positive polarity of ‘becoming satisfied’
through looking and searching outside of me.
- I commit myself to assist and
support myself in situations and moments where I see that the sensation of
negativity emerges within me, where I see that it is most prominent within
moments where I am faced with tasks/responsibilities/school-work, and in where
I thus become aware of such moments and my approach towards it – in where I
assist and support myself through stopping and breathing when I see that my
starting-point and attitude towards what I am doing is based on negativity and
in that I ground myself here – in where I make sure that I do not accept or
allow the negativity to move me or direct me and in where I commit myself to
not accept or allow myself to attempt/try to cover the sensation of negativity
up by searching and looking for positivity within what I externally participate
within – but to instead be here, alive, in where I take the decision to move myself –
and within this giving myself the opportunity to simply just be here, face,
approach and walk through my daily responsibilities/tasks/school-work with me
being the directive principle of myself and thus no more accepting and allowing
negativity to be the state of who I am.
