Control The Way You React to Life's Daily Drawbacks - Day 411

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to anticipate the worst case scenario within situations as an attempt to ‘prepare’ myself due to thinking and believing that it would be easier to face ‘the worst’ if I have prepared myself mentally – not seeing or realizing how I am within this merely creating and generating worry, stress and fear rather than preparing myself to face whatever comes up when it is here – as I within this see, realize and understand that what I am apparently preparing for within the mind is not an actual representation of physical reality as I cannot for certain know what the future may/might bring – so within this I see and realize that I am creating an alternate reality as an imagination within the mind, and that participating within such imaginary reality does not in any way prepare me for what may or might come – that I am within this rather generating and fueling internal experiences of helplessness and powerlessness – and therefor I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically and instantaneously go into, participate within and trust the mental ideas, conceptions and representations of the worst scenario that comes up within the mind instead of seeing and realizing that participating within and trusting these mental ideas, conceptions and representations of the worst case scenario that comes up within the mind does not actually in any way prepare or support me to be able to stand stable within myself and face whatever is here – and so I realize that not a single mental idea and imagination in relation to the future that comes up within the mind has never and will never assist and support me to face actual reality in stability – that the only way to actually face real reality in stability is through me, directing and moving myself out of imaginations and instead make sure that I face what is here in every moment.

• Within this I see, realize and understand that anticipating the worst and participating within internal imaginary realities wherein I envision the future as what it would be like if the worst possible thing that could happen actually would happen, is really not something that supports me – I mean, I have seen, so many times, how such participation is really just in fact causing internal conflict and friction, wherein I see and realize that I am making a situation worse and harder for myself through my internal participation – because within this I see, realize and understand that when I am accepting and allowing the mind to just take charge - from the perspective of me, just blindly accepting and allowing what comes up as imaginations within the mind – I am really just in fact inflicting stress, anxiety, fear and worry – where this acceptance and allowance thus places my physical body under even more strain in situations and moments where my physical needs stability and care the most.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being in control of my own future in relation to the things and aspects of life that I really just cannot change or decide over – and in this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that, yes, there are things in life that I cannot control – but what I do have control within and can direct is who I am in relation to the things in life that I cannot control – where I see, realize and understand that what would support me is to rather place my focus and attention on that which I can decide over rather than on that which I cannot control – and in this I commit myself to assist and support myself within situations and moments where I see that I am preoccupied with imaginary realities and future projections within the mind – where I within that re-instruct myself to direct my focus and attention and to instead place my awareness here, where I commit myself to support myself through focusing on stabilizing myself rather than accepting and allowing myself to keep myself preoccupied with that which I cannot control or change – to within this see, realize and understand that participating within internal imaginary realities will not make me prepared, will not change practical, physical reality but will rather make me unstable, worried and anxious – so therefor I commit myself to focus on and give myself the practice that I require to be able to stand stable within myself and face actual reality and actual scenarios in real-time however the situations may be – and in this trust myself to face what is here and walk through what is here – and I commit myself to practice this point through immediately stopping my participation within anticipations and future projections when it comes up and instead bring myself back to here, breathe, ground myself and so face what is here in this moment.

When Life Takes an Unexpected, Shattering Turn - Day 410

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to anticipate, expect and fear the worst within situations where I am faced with something that I cannot foretell in the sense of not knowing exactly what the future might bring – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately assume and anticipate that the worst possible thing that could happen will happen – where I furthermore forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within internal imaginations and future projections that are based on an alternate reality, representing the worst thing that I believe could happen – instead of seeing and realizing that participating within such future projections and internal imaginations is really not supporting me in any kind of way but that such participation will rather just generate experiences of fear, anxiety stress and worry – and I realize that instead of placing my focus and attention within internal imaginary realities that leads to internal turmoil I can within the moment decide not to participate, not to go into and not follow such imaginations but to instead realize that I know where such internal participation leads, and it’s really not supporting me in any kind of way – and so therefor I commit myself to assist and support myself within moments and situations where I see that my attention and focus are within an imaginary and illusive reality that is playing out within the mind – where I within this stop my participation, breathe and change my focus back to here, back to that which exist directly here as the physical – where I no more accept and allow myself to just blindly follow what comes up due to thinking and believing that it in some way can help me – but instead I commit myself to immediately stop, where I stop following and stop complying with what comes up and instead bring myself back to here, back to breath where I focus on what is here within the moment.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being ‘mentally prepared’ for the worst case scenario in the sense of being faced with a reality that I haven’t conjured up within the mind beforehand – and so within that thinking and believing that I am doing myself a favor through imagining and playing out all the different scenarios and futures that I believe to be possible outcomes – and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself and my capacity to face and walk through any situation, as the actual real reality, when it is here – because within this I see, realize and understand that I cannot walk through or face something beforehand, before it is actually, physically, practically here – and that when I ‘attempt to prepare myself’ I am actually ONLY inflicting and generating fears, anxiety and stress – so, therefor I see and realize that I am participating within, accepting and allowing, self-manipulation and self-sabotage when and as I believe that I require to and am doing myself a favor through internally imagining and playing out the worst case scenario – that it will not in any way support me – and I see, realize and understand that supporting myself through this would be to focus on being here, on stabilizing myself within my relationship to me and live self-responsibility through realizing that I do have the capacity and the ability to face and walk anything when it is here, that I do have me, that I do have the tools with which to utilize to stabilize myself within situations and moments – so therefor I commit myself to make sure that I participate in, face and walk through that which exists directly here as the physical, and trust myself and my capacity to support myself and to do what is best within any given situation – and in that realize that I can only walk and face that which exists directly here – moment by moment, one breath at a time.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically go into the mind where I attempt and try to find out all the different possible outcomes and results, as how my future may or might look or change, when I am being faced with something unexpected as new information that I was not aware of and did not take into account previously – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a state of complete paranoia through letting the mind run rampant when being faced with something unexpected – where I furthermore forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to fathom how my life may or might change within the mind – where I see and realize that I cannot look at something direct and cannot see clearly when I accept and allow myself to trust imaginations and thoughts and experiences that emerges within the mind as a response to unexpected information – because within that I am taking things to an extreme, where I see and realize that I cannot trust what emerges as a response within the mind because in that I am merely preventing myself from looking at solutions, from looking directly at what is here, what I can practically do with such information, what I require doing to assist and support myself and so walk it, step by step, seeing what needs to be done as an assessment of what I require and need within my relationship to me, within my life and reality and so align my life and living accordingly – and in this I see and realize how simple it is, and how I make it complicated and overwhelming when it in practicality doesn’t have to be that way, where I see that I can make it easy through assisting and supporting myself to stop trusting what emerges within the mind as a response and instead practically look at if there is something I require to do/change within my life and living and thus what I can do with such information – where I see and realize that all I require doing is to continue assisting and supporting myself, making sure that I prioritize supporting my physical and stabilizing my internal – and how, if or when my life may or might change is then something I walk when it is here, and align my self-support according to what is here – and therefor I commit myself to walk this for myself, to assist and support myself through looking at what I require to do and what I can do to support myself within every moment – where I align myself with that which is here, where I assess practically what I require within the moment and so walk it and align it according to what exists directly here.

Facing The Storms Of Life By Yourself - Day 409

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others or another will think or believe that I am in some way dependent on, in need of or reliant on that person – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an immediate reaction of anger and aversion when and as I perceive a pattern within another that indicates that that person thinks or believes that I expect something or anything from that being or am in some way dependent, in need of or reliant on that person – where I see and realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fear to and towards becoming dependent on or in some way count on another; from the perspective of expecting something from another or expecting another to be here for me when I, in some way, would require or be in need of assistance or support – as I within that have linked and connected such dependency to undoubtedly and definitely getting disappointed, deceived and let down – and where I thus turn this fear of getting let down by another into anger, where I see and realize that I have formed an automatic pattern wherein I push people away through anger, exclusion, spitefulness and aversion as an attempt to protect myself from getting disappointed, deceived or let down in the future – where I am projecting myself into the future and accessing memories of my past wherein I experienced such scenarios with the beings that supposed to be responsible for taking care of me – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I may or might, within a relationship with another being, create assumptions in relation to expecting that the other being will be there for me, assist or help me in situations or moments where I have formed the presumption that the other being would respond through standing by my side when I am faced with something that I perceive as difficult or hard to walk through and face on my own  – and so within this fear accepting and allowing myself to push people away through utilizing anger, spitefulness and exclusion immediately when or if I perceive another to in some way show any form of pattern that implies that the other person thinks or believes that I expect something, am in need of or dependent on that being – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and assume that if another person forms the idea and belief of me as being dependent on, in need of or reliant on that person in any kind of way, then such idea and belief would further result in the other being feeling obligated to assist and support me – as though it is a duty rather than the other being actually wanting to stand by my side and/or face and walk through something together with me - and through this I see, realize and understand that I have formed this pattern in where I react in anger, aversion, spitefulness and push people away as a response within situations/moments wherein I interpret it as though the other person’s starting-point and underlying reason for assisting/supporting/standing by my side is based and founded on an experience of obligation – where I see how the interpretation I form within the mind of another person, feeling obligated to stand by my side will activate a program and pattern within me where the intention is to show another that I absolutely do not need no one and that I definitely do not expect another to be there for me.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project and superimpose anger onto another if or when I perceive the person to show any form of pattern that I perceive as an indication of that being thinking or believing that I expect assistance or support in any kind of way – wherein I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to respond to such interpreted pattern through excluding and ostracizing the other – and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that this anger that comes up within me in situations where I perceive another to think or believe that I expect something from or am dependent on that being, is actually self-anger – because within this I see, realize and understand that these instances/circumstances are triggering self-anger within me – where I become angry with myself as a result of seeing that I have allowed myself to form expectations, a dependency and attachment to another person – that I have allowed myself to ‘become vulnerable’ from the perspective of accepting and allowing myself to get influenced by who and how another person decides to be and so whether or not another person decides to stand by my side when I am faced with and have to walk through something difficult – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become angry at and blame myself when I see myself getting disappointed as a response to another person’s behavior and/or decision of who to be in relation to that which I am faced with and have to walk through – in where I see and realize that when I notice that I get influenced in any kind of way due to another person’s decision of who to be as a response to who I am or what I am faced with, I will immediately go into self-anger – due to thinking and believing that letting myself get influenced by another person’s behavior is an indication of me, accepting and allowing myself to not be independent and strong enough but rather having allowed myself to become  weak and stupid for expecting or wanting a specific response from another person – where these situations become moments where I am in a way telling myself ‘I told you so’ in spitefulness, where I blame myself for not living according to the principle of ‘trust no one’.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and form a general idea about people wherein I think and believe that others are not to be trusted, that others will always betray, lie and leave, that allowing myself to assume or expect something or anything from another will always with no exceptions lead to disappointment, that I am not to count on or expect others to support or help me when I require assistance, that I am not to think that others would want to help me if I would to ask for assistance, that others will always leave or in some way deceive, that allowing myself to in any way get attached to another is the most dangerous thing I can expose myself to – and within this not seeing or realizing how this indicates a total lack of self-trust, as I am within this expecting and assuming that I cannot trust myself to be able to stand stable within situations where I perceive others to betray, live, leave, let down, deceive etc. – thus thinking and believing that I require to prevent myself from ever exposing myself to such conditions – instead of seeing and realizing that what I rather would require as a point of prevention is for me to incorporate and really live self-trust and self-support – where I rather learn and practically live within self-stability in my self-relationship, trusting myself and so my capacity to face situations and have relationships with other beings without having to fear others possible behaviors but rather stand within myself, trusting myself and so realize that all I need is me, is my self-trust, is my commitment to not disappoint myself or let myself down from the perspective of not living self-care and thus supporting myself no matter external circumstances/situations – wherein I see and realize that what I would require is for me to really understand that what I for certainty can trust is myself and my capacity to direct myself within a situation to support myself, to make sure that I stand by my side, wherein I realize that another or others behaviors or what another decides to do are not to be taken personally, as I see and realize that a decision made by another is never in fact caused by me and so not my responsibility.

• When and as I think and believe that I see a pattern within another that indicates that the person thinks or believes that I expect something or anything from that being or am in some way dependent, in need of or reliant on that person and in where I see myself reacting in fear and anger where I feel the urge to push the other away – I stop and I breathe – in this I commit myself to slow myself down and take a moment to ground myself here – wherein I stop my participation within anger and realize that excluding, projecting anger and spitefulness outwards onto another will not and cannot solve my internal experiences – because within this I see, realize and understand that when anger emerges within me it is merely indicating self-anger, and so therefor I no more accept and allow myself to take such anger out on another but instead I commit myself to support myself through standing as my self-awareness, where I re-instruct myself within the moment and direct myself out of the pattern through first making sure that I slow myself down through breathing and in that ground myself here, within myself, where I take the decision to stand by my side, to support myself and to realize that I do have me – and therefor I commit myself to always make sure that I am here for me, that I stand here with me and in that practice on accepting and embracing the support and assistance that others give, where I realize that others supporting me is their decision – and as I realize that I remain here by my side, with me, supporting myself, I further see that there is no need in fearing and resisting others support or fearing that I may not be able to trust the support – because no matter what, I make sure that I stand by my side.

To Exist On Something Other Than a Scale - Day 390

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people will see me as less than others/not as interesting or as good as other people and thus turn their backs on me and leave or replace me with someone ‘better’ if I do not live up to and according to the norms, as the constant strive to obtain and become the ideals that are collectively being accepted as ideally within this society in terms of who and how I believe I must and should be and present myself to the world for others to see me as interesting enough/good enough/beautiful enough/worthy enough – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear existing on something other than a scale, measuring one's alignment and affiliation with the ideal self-image consisting of what is being seen as external perfection in terms of who and how one is, behaves and looks – wherein I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the ideals that I have formed within the mind in relation to who and how I believe I must be and so present and portray myself to the world to prevent others from seeing me and the self-image I present as less than other people’s self-images – due to thinking and believing that the measurement of my personal value will decrease in the eyes of others if I let go of or do not fit into the frame of what I perceive and believe to be defined, encouraged and valued within this system as ‘the ideal self-image’, as who and how one must be and present themselves within this world to be approved and to be seen as worthwhile person.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up the strive and attempt to fit into the frame of what is being seen as the ideal self-image in terms of what I perceive to be approved and valued externally in the context of how and who a person should and require to be for others to praise, validate and value the being – where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I will get exchanged/replaced with someone else within the relationships that I have - thinking and believing that I won’t stand a chance against people that I perceive to be more aligned and ranked higher on the scale that measure one’s alignment and affiliation with the ideal self-image, and so believing that I would consequentially be replaced within the relationships that I have with other people.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise and limit myself and my life through placing greater importance and value on external validation than on creating a relationship with me where I place value and importance on who I am and on establishing unconditional self-acceptance, where I have allowed the approval of others to be the standard by which I gauge my own worth – instead of seeing and realizing that letting my perception of someone else’s opinion shape the view I have of myself is actually a deliberate decision, wherein I decide to absorb and incorporate the perception I form of what others think of me – and that I thus have the ability, the capacity and the responsibility to stop placing value and importance on external feedback and my perception of whether I manage to live up to the ideal self-image or not – where I see and realize that I am dishonoring, compromising and wasting my life and so myself as who I am through accepting and allowing myself to attempt and try to mold and change myself into becoming someone else externally – where nothing within me, as my internal circumstances, will or can change through external adjustments and alterations.

• When and as I see that fear emerges within me due to perceiving myself as who I am, what I accomplish or how I look, to be inadequate/not good enough/not aligned with what is referred to as ideally or affiliated with the belief I have formed within the mind towards what an ideal self-image is – I stop and I breathe – within this I commit myself to assist and support myself through taking a moment to breathe and ground myself here, where I no more accept and allow myself to feed and empower such internal fear and belief of myself and my worth as being defined and gauged by how close or how far away I am from the image I have formed within the mind in relation to what the ideal self-image is – but instead I commit myself to assist and support myself to immediately stop my participation, bring myself back to here and in that focus on what matters in terms of who I am and what I accept and allow within - and so I make sure that I direct and move myself to not accept and allow any further participation within perceptions of myself that are based on comparisons with the idea I have formed of what an ideal self-image is but instead I reassert myself within the moment to assist and support myself to ground myself here through breath.

When Perfection Isn't Good Enough - Day 367

I got a result back on a school-assignment and the feedback from the teacher went as following; “An A, of course”. These two last words, “of course”, made me realize how this is actually something I have created and linked a fear to and towards, because I see how this is triggering the program that I have created and manifested within me in relation to letting my starting-point behind why I work so extensively hard be based on fear of others disappointment - where I fear that I will not live up to the definition that I perceive others to have of me, especially in regards to teachers. In this I clearly see that teachers sees me as someone who will, “obviously”, always do what needs to be done to get an A. I mean, the last time that I did not receive an A, but instead a B on an exam, I almost started crying. Lol. It’s easy to laugh at it now, as I see how silly it is, but when I got the result back, saying “B, Well done!”, I felt as though my whole world was falling apart. That experience, and the fear thereof, is something that is currently directing me within my everyday participation – where I am constantly and continuously straining myself and pushing myself so hard as an attempt to avoid that experience that emerges within me whenever I perceive that I am not ‘the best’ or ‘achieving the best results as one possibly can’. When I get an A on the other hand, it’s like ‘nothing’ emerges within me, because it just fits my self-definition, it will not trigger anything as it is aligned with ‘my demands’ – so, I see how I am within this constantly pushing myself because of fear of having to face the experience that emerges within me when I am faced with a result that does not fit my self-definition, that is not aligned with what I believe others to expect of me.

So, what I see here is that I have formed a self-definition that is based on the belief and idea I have about what others expect of me in relation to my achievements in school and similar external participations in where one can either attain ‘good’ or ‘bad’ results. And I realize that I fear that other people will feel the same about me as I do when not achieving the best possible result – because I have accepted and allowed myself to, within that; blame, judge, upbraid and criticize myself so extensively and in where I consequentially take for granted and assume that other people, who expect me to achieve ‘the best possible result’, will think and feel the same way about me. I mean, even if I get an A on an exam but have one incorrect answer I will give myself permission to judge myself. Where I only see my ‘mistakes’ and apparent imperfections – and am thus never, ever seeing what I actually do manage to do, because what I manage to do is just like, not important, I will not register it. I mean, I see how I can never within this live self-acceptance or self-trust as I within this instead have decided to overlook and disregard my own capacity and in where I instead only see the small details that I perceive to be ‘imperfect’ and insufficient. In this I see that this is a contributing factor to the reverberating negativity that I incessantly exist within and as, as the current state of my beingness – where I will demand absolute perfection but expect that I will always fail. Realistically looking I see that it is not always possible to attain absolute perfect results; sometimes I might even misspell a word. Lol.

I realize that it is important for me, within my relationship with myself, to really release and free myself from this construct and program. Especially since I will start studying even more subjects in the near future – where I will have even less time, and thus I realize that this means that I must look at my situation rationally, seeing that it is unacceptable for me to continue compromising my self-support as a consequence and outflow of the construct I have manifested in where I constantly prioritize perfecting my external participation/achievements and within that neglect, disregard and put myself second.

I will walk this through with self-forgiveness in blogs to follow.

How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs - Day 366

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the state of my beingness which is based on negativity, constantly and continuously anticipate and expect the worst in the sense of internally/mentally preparing myself for failure and despondency – and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constitute and base my relationship to my external world and reality on the imaginations I form within the mind in relation to the worst possible outcome and scenario – where I have accepted and allowed myself to, within and throughout my life, think and believe that through utilizing and existing within this construct/relationship to my external world/reality I am in a way ‘prepared’ and geared for all the worst possible outcomes/situations that may/might emerge within my reality – and within this accepting and allowing the imagination to be and become the driving-force behind my external participation, where I just automatically give value to and trust the expectations and anticipations that comes up within the mind and in that not seeing or realizing how I am through this actually perpetuating the reverberating negativity, where I am accepting and allowing negativity to permeate and influence my relationship to me and so my relationship to this world as a whole  – and so within this I see, realize and understand that I am accepting and allowing myself to generate and perpetuate this state of negativity through accepting and allowing myself to exist within a construct where I give value to, trust and follow the imaginations where I anticipate and expect ‘the worst’ – and how I am within this not actually ‘preparing’ for ‘the worst’ but am instead creating and manifesting a constant experience of things being ‘impossible’, where I am actually not even giving myself the opportunity to just do what I see needs to be done but am instead already before preparing myself for failure, which in itself will create failure – because within this I see, realize and understand that when I have allowed myself to ‘make up my mind’, in the sense of accepting the imaginations that comes up as expectations of an outcome, I have already created and manifested that outcome and will consequentially manifest it within my practical reality – where I see and realize that I am creating and accepting limitations through forming an expectation within the mind in relation to the result of things. 

 

• Therefor I commit myself to assist and support myself within situations and moments where I am faced with a task/responsibility or see something that I must do and when I notice that back-chats such as; “I won’t make it” starts to come up within the mind, I immediately stop and take a deep breath, in where I slow myself down within the moment and in that stand as the directive principle of me – in where I take the decision to no more accept and allow myself to create and manifest limitations through forming and trusting a belief of myself as ‘not being able to make it’ – but instead I stabilize myself here until no energy is moving me – but where I instead take a stance to move myself, where I furthermore commit myself to live self-trust through practically do what I see needs to be done and within that realize that I can only do my best – but that when and as I accept and allow myself to anticipate failure I am actually self-sabotaging through creating and manifesting that limitation as something that I accept as a part of me – and therefor I no more accept and allow myself to limit myself through trusting imaginations in relation to whether I will manage to do things or fail, but instead I bring myself back to here and so trust myself and my capacity to be here and so do my best in every moment.

The Negativity Will Exist Until Perfection Exists - Day 365

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my whole approach to/towards my practical participation within school and to/towards my daily responsibilities to be and become permeated and infiltrated by an internal sensation of negativity – where I forgive myself that I have, within and throughout my life, accepted and allowed negativity to be and become a constant underlying sensation within me in where I continuously am attempting and trying to balance that negativity out through pushing myself harder within what I participate in – thinking and believing that I will be satisfied and at ease if only I become better at what I do, if only I become perfect and do not have to put so much effort into school, if only I become soooooo good that it will just ‘come natural’ – lol. And so within this I see, realize and understand that I have formed and manifested an approach and attitude towards my life in where I am in a way thinking and believing that the state of negativity and underlying sensation of ‘not being satisfied’ is somehow based on and linked to how hard I must work, how much effort I require to put into things and how ‘being perfect and attaining perfect results in my practical participation’ does not come ‘natural’ to me – and in where I am utilizing these beliefs to move and push myself – believing that I will be satisfied and at ease only when ‘things come natural to me’ in the context of not having to ‘work hard’ but instead just kind of like having ‘an easy life’. 

 

• And so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to counteract and balance out the inherent state of my beingness which is based on negativity through, without even seeing or being aware of it, constantly search and look for the polarity of positivity to cover up and suppress this reverberating negativity – where I have accepted and allowed myself to search for this positivity and attempted to become satisfied with my life and so with myself through pushing myself to become better at what I externally participate within – not seeing or realizing how I am and have always been trying to escape the internal constant negativity through searching for an experience of being satisfied with life and with myself outside of me – not seeing or realizing how I am merely within this separating myself from me, because in this I have just unconditionally and unquestionably accepted and absorbed the inherent sensation and state of negativity where I thus continuously anticipate and assume that things will be hard and tough for me, that I have to work really hard all the time and that I require to be ’prepared for failure’.

 

• In this I furthermore forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my life and daily participation complicated, difficult and a burden through just allowing myself to assume and anticipate that things will be hard – not seeing or realizing that I can actually decide for myself how I will approach things, that existing within a constant state of negativity will not, and cannot, actually help me in any way – and so I see, realize and understand that I require to take my life in my own hands and in that stop this state of my beingness, to stop the sensation of negativity and in that furthermore stop the continuous attempt to cover it up through attempting to attain the positive polarity of ‘becoming satisfied’ through looking and searching outside of me.

 

• I commit myself to assist and support myself in situations and moments where I see that the sensation of negativity emerges within me, where I see that it is most prominent within moments where I am faced with tasks/responsibilities/school-work, and in where I thus become aware of such moments and my approach towards it – in where I assist and support myself through stopping and breathing when I see that my starting-point and attitude towards what I am doing is based on negativity and in that I ground myself here – in where I make sure that I do not accept or allow the negativity to move me or direct me and in where I commit myself to not accept or allow myself to attempt/try to cover the sensation of negativity up by searching and looking for positivity within what I externally participate within – but to instead be here, alive, in where I take the decision to move myself – and within this giving myself the opportunity to simply just be here, face, approach and walk through my daily responsibilities/tasks/school-work with me being the directive principle of myself and thus no more accepting and allowing negativity to be the state of who I am.