- I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to anticipate the worst case scenario
within situations as an attempt to ‘prepare’ myself due to thinking and believing
that it would be easier to face ‘the worst’ if I have prepared myself mentally
– not seeing or realizing how I am within this merely creating and generating
worry, stress and fear rather than preparing myself to face whatever comes up
when it is here – as I within this see, realize and understand that what I am
apparently preparing for within the mind is not an actual representation of
physical reality as I cannot for certain know what the future may/might bring –
so within this I see and realize that I am creating an alternate reality as an
imagination within the mind, and that participating within such imaginary
reality does not in any way prepare me for what may or might come – that I am
within this rather generating and fueling internal experiences of helplessness
and powerlessness – and therefor I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to automatically and instantaneously go into, participate within
and trust the mental ideas, conceptions and representations of the worst
scenario that comes up within the mind instead of seeing and realizing that participating
within and trusting these mental ideas, conceptions and representations of the
worst case scenario that comes up within the mind does not actually in any way
prepare or support me to be able to stand stable within myself and face
whatever is here – and so I realize that not a single mental idea and
imagination in relation to the future that comes up within the mind has never
and will never assist and support me to face actual reality in stability – that
the only way to actually face real reality in stability is through me,
directing and moving myself out of imaginations and instead make sure that I face
what is here in every moment.
- Within this I see,
realize and understand that anticipating the worst and participating within
internal imaginary realities wherein I envision the future as what it would be
like if the worst possible thing that could happen actually would happen, is
really not something that supports me – I mean, I have seen, so many times, how
such participation is really just in fact causing internal conflict and
friction, wherein I see and realize that I am making a situation worse and
harder for myself through my internal participation – because within this I see,
realize and understand that when I am accepting and allowing the mind to just
take charge - from the perspective of me, just blindly accepting and allowing
what comes up as imaginations within the mind – I am really just in fact
inflicting stress, anxiety, fear and worry – where this acceptance and
allowance thus places my physical body under even more strain in situations and
moments where my physical needs stability and care the most.
- I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being in control of my own
future in relation to the things and aspects of life that I really just cannot
change or decide over – and in this I forgive myself that I have not accepted
and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that, yes, there are things
in life that I cannot control – but what I do have control within and can
direct is who I am in relation to the things in life that I cannot control –
where I see, realize and understand that what would support me is to rather
place my focus and attention on that which I can decide over rather than on
that which I cannot control – and in this I commit myself to assist and support
myself within situations and moments where I see that I am preoccupied with
imaginary realities and future projections within the mind – where I within
that re-instruct myself to direct my focus and attention and to instead place
my awareness here, where I commit myself to support myself through focusing on
stabilizing myself rather than accepting and allowing myself to keep myself
preoccupied with that which I cannot control or change – to within this see,
realize and understand that participating within internal imaginary realities
will not make me prepared, will not change practical, physical reality but will
rather make me unstable, worried and anxious – so therefor I commit myself to
focus on and give myself the practice that I require to be able to stand stable
within myself and face actual reality and actual scenarios in real-time however
the situations may be – and in this trust myself to face what is here and walk
through what is here – and I commit myself to practice this point through
immediately stopping my participation within anticipations and future
projections when it comes up and instead bring myself back to here, breathe,
ground myself and so face what is here in this moment.
- I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to anticipate, expect and fear the worst
within situations where I am faced with something that I cannot foretell in the
sense of not knowing exactly what the future might bring – and within this I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately assume
and anticipate that the worst possible thing that could happen will happen –
where I furthermore forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
participate within internal imaginations and future projections that are based
on an alternate reality, representing the worst thing that I believe could
happen – instead of seeing and realizing that participating within such future
projections and internal imaginations is really not supporting me in any kind
of way but that such participation will rather just generate experiences of
fear, anxiety stress and worry – and I realize that instead of placing my focus
and attention within internal imaginary realities that leads to internal
turmoil I can within the moment decide not to participate, not to go into and not
follow such imaginations but to instead realize that I know where such internal
participation leads, and it’s really not supporting me in any kind of way – and
so therefor I commit myself to assist and support myself within moments and
situations where I see that my attention and focus are within an imaginary and
illusive reality that is playing out within the mind – where I within this stop
my participation, breathe and change my focus back to here, back to that which
exist directly here as the physical – where I no more accept and allow myself
to just blindly follow what comes up due to thinking and believing that it in
some way can help me – but instead I commit myself to immediately stop, where I
stop following and stop complying with what comes up and instead bring myself
back to here, back to breath where I focus on what is here within the moment.
- I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being ‘mentally prepared’
for the worst case scenario in the sense of being faced with a reality that I
haven’t conjured up within the mind beforehand – and so within that thinking
and believing that I am doing myself a favor through imagining and playing out
all the different scenarios and futures that I believe to be possible outcomes
– and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust
myself and my capacity to face and walk through any situation, as the actual
real reality, when it is here – because within this I see, realize and
understand that I cannot walk through or face something beforehand, before it
is actually, physically, practically here – and that when I ‘attempt to prepare
myself’ I am actually ONLY inflicting and generating fears, anxiety and stress
– so, therefor I see and realize that I am participating within, accepting and
allowing, self-manipulation and self-sabotage when and as I believe that I
require to and am doing myself a favor through internally imagining and playing
out the worst case scenario – that it will not in any way support me – and I
see, realize and understand that supporting myself through this would be to
focus on being here, on stabilizing myself within my relationship to me and
live self-responsibility through realizing that I do have the capacity and the
ability to face and walk anything when it is here, that I do have me, that I do
have the tools with which to utilize to stabilize myself within situations and
moments – so therefor I commit myself to make sure that I participate in, face
and walk through that which exists directly here as the physical, and trust
myself and my capacity to support myself and to do what is best within any
given situation – and in that realize that I can only walk and face that which
exists directly here – moment by moment, one breath at a time.
- I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically go into the mind where
I attempt and try to find out all the different possible outcomes and results,
as how my future may or might look or change, when I am being faced with
something unexpected as new information that I was not aware of and did not
take into account previously – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to go into a state of complete paranoia through letting the mind
run rampant when being faced with something unexpected – where I furthermore
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to
fathom how my life may or might change within the mind – where I see and
realize that I cannot look at something direct and cannot see clearly when I
accept and allow myself to trust imaginations and thoughts and experiences that
emerges within the mind as a response to unexpected information – because within
that I am taking things to an extreme, where I see and realize that I cannot
trust what emerges as a response within the mind because in that I am merely
preventing myself from looking at solutions, from looking directly at what is
here, what I can practically do with such information, what I require doing to
assist and support myself and so walk it, step by step, seeing what needs to be
done as an assessment of what I require and need within my relationship to me,
within my life and reality and so align my life and living accordingly – and in
this I see and realize how simple it is, and how I make it complicated and overwhelming
when it in practicality doesn’t have to be that way, where I see that I can
make it easy through assisting and supporting myself to stop trusting what
emerges within the mind as a response and instead practically look at if there
is something I require to do/change within my life and living and thus what I
can do with such information – where I see and realize that all I require doing
is to continue assisting and supporting myself, making sure that I prioritize supporting
my physical and stabilizing my internal – and how, if or when my life may or
might change is then something I walk when it is here, and align my self-support
according to what is here – and therefor I commit myself to walk this for myself,
to assist and support myself through looking at what I require to do and what I
can do to support myself within every moment – where I align myself with that
which is here, where I assess practically what I require within the moment and
so walk it and align it according to what exists directly here.
- I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally through going into fear,
shame and self-blame when perceiving it as though I am getting accused of
something by another and when interpreting it as though the person is
disappointed or angry at me - no matter if I have actually done what I perceive
myself to be accused of or not, wherein I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to go into a pattern activated by fear, in where I
immediately react when I perceive another to accuse me of having done something
which the other person do not agree with or approve of and in where I
automatically and instantaneously go into the belief and idea that I have to
protect and defend myself through ensuring that I prevent the other from
creating a perpetuated definition and opinion of me that is based on negativity
due to that which I am being accused of - wherein I think and believe that I
require to explain myself in the best possible way so that I can remove the
experience/reaction that came up within another and so replace it with an
explanation that I think and believe can ‘repair’ and compensate for the
initial reaction that got triggered within the person, as an explanation and
thus experience that is based on a positive energy instead of negative – where I
see and realize that I have created a pattern wherein I think and believe that
I require to protect myself from negatively charged experiences within others
due to believing that such experiences can result in my safety being threatened
– as I have connected this point of ‘being accused of something’ to the
consequences I would be faced with when this occurred while I lived with the
first foster family – and so perpetuated the pattern of instantly going into
fear when perceiving myself to get accused by another, not seeing and realizing
how such pattern is really in fact not helping me within my current living and
life – as I see and realize that when I am within a reaction of fear I cannot
see real reality or what is practically here – and that I will react to every perceived
similarity to the patterns that I saw within the foster mother as a consequence
of the protection mechanism I have formed within the mind – instead of seeing
and realizing that such protection mechanism isn’t protecting me at all but is rather
making it impossible for me to stand stable within myself and so see real
reality in the sense of facing and practically walking through a situation of
perceiving myself to be accused by another into a solution – which I see and
realize is only possible when I take the decision to stop the fear, stop the
reactions and stop the automatic pattern of attempting and trying to protect
myself through inducing positive experiences through a satisfying explanation –
and I realize that the solution within these situations would be to first of
all making sure that I remove any and every form of internal reaction and so
stand with myself in clarity and awareness where I furthermore move myself
practically to investigate the situation, whether I am even being accused of
something or not, and so communicate with another to find an actual, real
solution that is best for both in the sense of clearing up possible misunderstandings/misinterpretations
and self-honestly, and with taking self-responsibility, investigate that which
I perceive myself to be accused of.
- I forgive myself
that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that
what I am reacting to is actually in fact my own interpretation and perception
of being accused – wherein I am essentially reacting to myself as a consequence
of my self-created fear of what another may/might think of me due to what I believe
myself to be accused of and so how the person will see me, think about me and
feel about me in the continuation – and that through accepting and allowing
myself to participate within such imaginary reality I am getting distracted from
participating within that which are really in fact real, and thus preventing
myself from finding and coming to a real solution since I am not even capable
of seeing the problem as I am preoccupied within my imagination – which I
realize isn’t a real representation of what is really in fact occurring – and so
I see and realize that to be able to face and walk through a problem, conflict
or misunderstanding I require to bring myself out of the mind-reality as
imagination and back into real reality as that which exists directly as the
physical.
- Within this I commit
myself to assist and support myself within moments and situations where I
think, believe and perceive that I am being accused of something by another –
through within that slow myself down through breathing and thus prevent myself from
going into the automatic pattern of reaction – and so in this make sure that I
have slowed myself down and grounded myself here, where I can look at things
within awareness and clarity – where I commit myself to re-instruct myself and
change the pattern of wanting to immediately explain myself and remove the
negatively charged experience that I perceive within another, to instead look
at a solution – where I make sure that I stand within me stable, that I do not
accept and allow myself to participate within fear but instead place my
attention within practical, physical reality through asking questions, through
finding out if another person is even accusing me of something or if I merely
interpreted it as though I was accused due to my own internal reactions and so
reacting to my own mind – and so from there I make sure that I am really seeing
reality in terms of first make sure that I am removing my own reactions so that
I can participate in that which exists directly as the physical reality and
where I direct myself to open the point up through communicating with the being
that I perceive to accuse me, through simply asking questions and clearing up
any misunderstandings – where I commit myself to ensure that I am self-honest within
my approach from the perspective of making sure that my starting-point is not
based on the attempt to please another or wanting to say something to remove
any possible negatively charged reactions/experiences within the other but that
my starting-point is instead based on finding a real solution through
communication, self-responsibility and self-honesty.
