- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed my self-esteem and self-confidence in school to be and become
dependent on how well I perceive myself to perform within exams and assignments
– where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an
experience of being insecure and unconfident when and as I perceive myself not
to perform as well as I normally do – and I furthermore forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to be and become dependent on attaining the
experience of performing well for me to be able to feel and be confident – where
I see and realize that I have allowed the experience of self-doubt to just take
over and decide who I am, without me even questioning the experience due to
thinking and believing that it is right, justified and legitimate for me to
doubt myself and feel insecure when I have not performed well, thinking and
believing that that gives me a free-pass to doubt myself and feel insecure –
not seeing or realizing that this is an automated pattern that I have formed ,
where I am the one who gives my consent to self-doubt as a response of
perceiving myself to having performed bad, but that just because I haven’t
performed well does not mean that I have to or am obligated to doubt myself or
let my confidence get influenced.
- Within this I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted and assume that whether I
doubt myself or am confident will and must be determined by my external
performance – wherein I would never, within or throughout my life, allow myself
to establish real self-assurance and self-confidence but would instead just
blindly accept and allow myself to believe that such points can merely be lived
when, and as a result of, one’s external performances/achievements – wherein I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate this
belief through living accordingly, wherein I would accept and allow myself to
just blindly and unquestionably allow myself to limit myself within my
relationship to me through not seeing and realizing that self-confidence and
self-assurance can only be lived as constant points/parts within me when and as
they are just that, lived, from the within to the without, as a decision and self-movement
– and so I see and realize that when I am searching and looking for confidence
outside of myself, within my performances and the things that I participate
within, I am forming a dependency and am not at all taking responsibility for
creating the self and the life that it is that I would really want for myself,
but am rather looking and searching for aspects that I require within my
relationship with me outside of myself – which I see and realize will inevitably
lead to dependency, where I allow myself to become dependent on the perception of performing well for me to be
able to feel confident, when all the while I could have and can decide to give
myself and live self-confidence as a living principle of me – to stop looking
and searching outside of myself and to instead move and direct myself out of
self-doubt and stop the pattern of letting my external performance determine
how and who I am within myself and so without.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to form expectations and/or anticipations according
to the perception I have formed of how I have performed previously, wherein my
latest performance within an exam/assignment determines what I
expect/anticipate for the future in the sense of how I believe that I will perform
in upcoming exams/assignments, wherein I forgive myself that I have not accepted
and allowed myself to give myself the opportunity of always standing within
myself, trusting me, and thus doing my best without anticipating or expecting
any specific result but to instead live self-confidence no matter how ‘well’ I
managed to perform in my latest exam/assignment.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I should not, and have no
right to, be self-confident if and when I perceive my latest performance within
school/an assignment/exam to be ‘bad’ – and wherein I have thus allowed my
starting-point behind my continued participation, as the starting-point I have
within the next exam/assignment, be and become influenced and determined by
previous results – where I am holding on to past performances and thus
expecting bad results if I did not perform well in the latest assignment/exam –
instead of always giving myself a clean slate where I make sure that I let go
of past results and instead make sure that I stand, within who I am as
self-confidence, and so move myself to do my best in what is here now.
- In this I commit myself to assist
and support myself to live self-confidence through no more just blindly accepting
and allowing myself to go into self-doubt when I perceive my results and
performances within school to be bad or not as good as they normally are – but
to instead become aware of this tendency of just unquestionably believing that
it is impossible and not legitimate for me to be confident within myself if and
when I have not attained good results within my external participation – so
therefor I commit myself to support myself within moments where I see that the
experience of self-doubt starts to emerge within me, where I within such
situations/moments stop, take a moment to breathe, and so re-instruct myself
where I stop giving my consent to self-doubt to tell me who I am or what I am
capable of – and so within that I instead make sure that I let go of past
results/performances through realizing that I cannot change it, I can only make
sure that I give myself the opportunity here and now to do my best – which I
commit myself to do through making sure that I direct myself out of the
experience of self-doubt that are based on past performances/results and so
stand as and live self-confidence as a directive decision and movement.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to self-sabotage through creating an idea around final
exams, wherein I expect, anticipate and assume that just because it is a final
exam it will mean that it is way harder and more difficult than normal exams -
where I have consequentially allowed that idea to influence and effect my starting-point
and so my experience within myself before walking through a final exam – in
where I see and realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to let this
idea that I have formed of final exams to control my internal experience and
approach, where I, even before actually doing the final exams, will within me
decide that it is going to be hard and almost impossible – not seeing or
realizing how such idea will actually make it impossible for me to really see
the reality and so walk the final exam within self-awareness and
self-stability, since I have already taken a decision to see it as difficult
and am thus preventing myself from simply walking through and seeing the exam
for what it is.
- And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to make it harder and more complicated than what it has to be
through forming an emotional attachment to final exams – in where I now see and
realize that I am preventing myself from seeing reality in terms of walking
through the exam moment by moment and thus read the questions, understand the
questions and so answer them – due to instead having formed a reaction of
fearing that I won’t be able to understand or answer a question even before I
have given myself the opportunity to actually read the questions.
- In this I commit myself to assist
and support myself in the continuation when walking through a final exam – to within
that be aware of the tendency of self-sabotage wherein I go into the idea of it
being more difficult and hard just because it is labeled as a ‘final exam’ and
so, when I see that fear starts to emerge within me due to forming a perception
of the final exam even before doing it I assist and support myself to stop my
participation and breathe – where I no more accept and allow myself to go into,
generate or feed this idea and starting-point but instead I move and direct
myself out of such fear where I realize that I will merely prevent myself from
focusing on real reality through creating layers of ideas and fears before
walking through an exam.
- And so I furthermore commit myself to practice this point of
preventing myself from generating this idea of it being more difficult and hard
just because it is called a ‘final exam’ – where I instead re-instruct myself
to approach the exam without making it seem sooo big and overwhelming – through
within me being aware of the tendency of generating fear and anticipations and
so in that instead take a stance within me to instruct myself to face the exam
with ‘real eyes’ so to speak; meaning, really giving myself the opportunity to
face reality through reminding myself of the fact that I cannot know how an
exam will be until I walk it, and thus I commit myself to face the exams through
making sure that I really read the questions slowly, in the sense of giving
myself the opportunity to really understand what they are asking and so when
having made sure that I understand the question I answer – to within that
prevent myself from going into the tendency of rushing, as I realize that
rushing has only resulted in misunderstandings/misinterpretations and so
consequentially ineffectiveness as I’ll have to read the questions over and
over again until understanding it – and so therefor I slow myself down, I remain
here within breath and so make sure that I understand, which I can only do if I
give myself the chance to focus on physical reality and so stop the point of
rushing practically.
