When Life Takes an Unexpected, Shattering Turn - Day 410

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to anticipate, expect and fear the worst within situations where I am faced with something that I cannot foretell in the sense of not knowing exactly what the future might bring – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately assume and anticipate that the worst possible thing that could happen will happen – where I furthermore forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within internal imaginations and future projections that are based on an alternate reality, representing the worst thing that I believe could happen – instead of seeing and realizing that participating within such future projections and internal imaginations is really not supporting me in any kind of way but that such participation will rather just generate experiences of fear, anxiety stress and worry – and I realize that instead of placing my focus and attention within internal imaginary realities that leads to internal turmoil I can within the moment decide not to participate, not to go into and not follow such imaginations but to instead realize that I know where such internal participation leads, and it’s really not supporting me in any kind of way – and so therefor I commit myself to assist and support myself within moments and situations where I see that my attention and focus are within an imaginary and illusive reality that is playing out within the mind – where I within this stop my participation, breathe and change my focus back to here, back to that which exist directly here as the physical – where I no more accept and allow myself to just blindly follow what comes up due to thinking and believing that it in some way can help me – but instead I commit myself to immediately stop, where I stop following and stop complying with what comes up and instead bring myself back to here, back to breath where I focus on what is here within the moment.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being ‘mentally prepared’ for the worst case scenario in the sense of being faced with a reality that I haven’t conjured up within the mind beforehand – and so within that thinking and believing that I am doing myself a favor through imagining and playing out all the different scenarios and futures that I believe to be possible outcomes – and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself and my capacity to face and walk through any situation, as the actual real reality, when it is here – because within this I see, realize and understand that I cannot walk through or face something beforehand, before it is actually, physically, practically here – and that when I ‘attempt to prepare myself’ I am actually ONLY inflicting and generating fears, anxiety and stress – so, therefor I see and realize that I am participating within, accepting and allowing, self-manipulation and self-sabotage when and as I believe that I require to and am doing myself a favor through internally imagining and playing out the worst case scenario – that it will not in any way support me – and I see, realize and understand that supporting myself through this would be to focus on being here, on stabilizing myself within my relationship to me and live self-responsibility through realizing that I do have the capacity and the ability to face and walk anything when it is here, that I do have me, that I do have the tools with which to utilize to stabilize myself within situations and moments – so therefor I commit myself to make sure that I participate in, face and walk through that which exists directly here as the physical, and trust myself and my capacity to support myself and to do what is best within any given situation – and in that realize that I can only walk and face that which exists directly here – moment by moment, one breath at a time.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically go into the mind where I attempt and try to find out all the different possible outcomes and results, as how my future may or might look or change, when I am being faced with something unexpected as new information that I was not aware of and did not take into account previously – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a state of complete paranoia through letting the mind run rampant when being faced with something unexpected – where I furthermore forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to fathom how my life may or might change within the mind – where I see and realize that I cannot look at something direct and cannot see clearly when I accept and allow myself to trust imaginations and thoughts and experiences that emerges within the mind as a response to unexpected information – because within that I am taking things to an extreme, where I see and realize that I cannot trust what emerges as a response within the mind because in that I am merely preventing myself from looking at solutions, from looking directly at what is here, what I can practically do with such information, what I require doing to assist and support myself and so walk it, step by step, seeing what needs to be done as an assessment of what I require and need within my relationship to me, within my life and reality and so align my life and living accordingly – and in this I see and realize how simple it is, and how I make it complicated and overwhelming when it in practicality doesn’t have to be that way, where I see that I can make it easy through assisting and supporting myself to stop trusting what emerges within the mind as a response and instead practically look at if there is something I require to do/change within my life and living and thus what I can do with such information – where I see and realize that all I require doing is to continue assisting and supporting myself, making sure that I prioritize supporting my physical and stabilizing my internal – and how, if or when my life may or might change is then something I walk when it is here, and align my self-support according to what is here – and therefor I commit myself to walk this for myself, to assist and support myself through looking at what I require to do and what I can do to support myself within every moment – where I align myself with that which is here, where I assess practically what I require within the moment and so walk it and align it according to what exists directly here.