- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to, within the state of my beingness which is based on
negativity, constantly and continuously anticipate and expect the worst in the
sense of internally/mentally preparing myself for failure and despondency – and
so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
constitute and base my relationship to my external world and reality on the
imaginations I form within the mind in relation to the worst possible outcome
and scenario – where I have accepted and allowed myself to, within and
throughout my life, think and believe that through utilizing and existing
within this construct/relationship to my external world/reality I am in a way
‘prepared’ and geared for all the worst possible outcomes/situations that
may/might emerge within my reality – and within this accepting and allowing the
imagination to be and become the driving-force behind my external participation,
where I just automatically give value to and trust the expectations and
anticipations that comes up within the mind and in that not seeing or realizing
how I am through this actually perpetuating the reverberating negativity, where
I am accepting and allowing negativity to permeate and influence my
relationship to me and so my relationship to this world as a whole – and so within this I see, realize and
understand that I am accepting and allowing myself to generate and perpetuate this
state of negativity through accepting and allowing myself to exist within a
construct where I give value to, trust and follow the imaginations where I anticipate
and expect ‘the worst’ – and how I am within this not actually ‘preparing’ for ‘the
worst’ but am instead creating and manifesting a constant experience of things
being ‘impossible’, where I am actually not even giving myself the opportunity
to just do what I see needs to be done but am instead already before preparing myself
for failure, which in itself will create failure – because within this I see, realize
and understand that when I have allowed myself to ‘make up my mind’, in the
sense of accepting the imaginations that comes up as expectations of an
outcome, I have already created and manifested that outcome and will
consequentially manifest it within my practical reality – where I see and
realize that I am creating and accepting limitations through forming an
expectation within the mind in relation to the result of things.
- Therefor I commit myself to assist
and support myself within situations and moments where I am faced with a
task/responsibility or see something that I must do and when I notice that back-chats
such as; “I won’t make it” starts to come up within the mind, I immediately
stop and take a deep breath, in where I slow myself down within the moment and
in that stand as the directive principle of me – in where I take the decision
to no more accept and allow myself to create and manifest limitations through
forming and trusting a belief of myself as ‘not being able to make it’ – but instead
I stabilize myself here until no energy is moving me – but where I instead take
a stance to move myself, where I furthermore commit myself to live self-trust
through practically do what I see needs to be done and within that realize that
I can only do my best – but that when and as I accept and allow myself to
anticipate failure I am actually self-sabotaging through creating and
manifesting that limitation as something that I accept as a part of me – and therefor
I no more accept and allow myself to limit myself through trusting imaginations
in relation to whether I will manage to do things or fail, but instead I bring
myself back to here and so trust myself and my capacity to be here and so do my
best in every moment.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed my whole approach to/towards my practical participation within school
and to/towards my daily responsibilities to be and become permeated and
infiltrated by an internal sensation of negativity – where I forgive myself
that I have, within and throughout my life, accepted and allowed negativity to
be and become a constant underlying sensation within me in where I continuously
am attempting and trying to balance that negativity out through pushing myself
harder within what I participate in – thinking and believing that I will be
satisfied and at ease if only I become better at what I do, if only I become
perfect and do not have to put so much effort into school, if only I become
soooooo good that it will just ‘come natural’ – lol. And so within this I see,
realize and understand that I have formed and manifested an approach and
attitude towards my life in where I am in a way thinking and believing that the
state of negativity and underlying sensation of ‘not being satisfied’ is
somehow based on and linked to how hard I must work, how much effort I require
to put into things and how ‘being perfect and attaining perfect results in my
practical participation’ does not come ‘natural’ to me – and in where I am
utilizing these beliefs to move and push myself – believing that I will be
satisfied and at ease only when ‘things come natural to me’ in the context of not
having to ‘work hard’ but instead just kind of like having ‘an easy life’.
- And so within this I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to counteract and
balance out the inherent state of my beingness which is based on negativity
through, without even seeing or being aware of it, constantly search and look
for the polarity of positivity to cover up and suppress this reverberating
negativity – where I have accepted and allowed myself to search for this
positivity and attempted to become satisfied with my life and so with myself
through pushing myself to become better at what I externally participate within
– not seeing or realizing how I am and have always been trying to escape the
internal constant negativity through searching for an experience of being
satisfied with life and with myself outside of me – not seeing or realizing how
I am merely within this separating myself from me, because in this I have just
unconditionally and unquestionably accepted and absorbed the inherent sensation
and state of negativity where I thus continuously anticipate and assume that
things will be hard and tough for me, that I have to work really hard all the
time and that I require to be ’prepared for failure’.
- In this I furthermore forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my life and daily participation
complicated, difficult and a burden through just allowing myself to assume and
anticipate that things will be hard – not seeing or realizing that I can
actually decide for myself how I will approach things, that existing within a
constant state of negativity will not, and cannot, actually help me in any way
– and so I see, realize and understand that I require to take my life in my own
hands and in that stop this state of my beingness, to stop the sensation of
negativity and in that furthermore stop the continuous attempt to cover it up
through attempting to attain the positive polarity of ‘becoming satisfied’
through looking and searching outside of me.
- I commit myself to assist and
support myself in situations and moments where I see that the sensation of
negativity emerges within me, where I see that it is most prominent within
moments where I am faced with tasks/responsibilities/school-work, and in where
I thus become aware of such moments and my approach towards it – in where I
assist and support myself through stopping and breathing when I see that my
starting-point and attitude towards what I am doing is based on negativity and
in that I ground myself here – in where I make sure that I do not accept or
allow the negativity to move me or direct me and in where I commit myself to
not accept or allow myself to attempt/try to cover the sensation of negativity
up by searching and looking for positivity within what I externally participate
within – but to instead be here, alive, in where I take the decision to move myself –
and within this giving myself the opportunity to simply just be here, face,
approach and walk through my daily responsibilities/tasks/school-work with me
being the directive principle of myself and thus no more accepting and allowing
negativity to be the state of who I am.
