How to Find Motivation When You'd Rather Give up - Day 397

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become completely dependent on perceiving it as though it is possible for me to attain the highest grade as an end-result of my participation within a specific subject for me to be able to motivate myself into studying - in the sense of seeing studying as something that is worthwhile and enjoyable – wherein I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become unmotivated and resisting studying after having messed up an exam, wherein I all of a sudden would feel as though there is no use because I have already missed my chance of attaining an A as my final grade – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “what’s the use” – where I would allow myself to physically and practically become that statement, where I find myself unable to motivate and move myself to study, which I see and realize is a result and indication of having formed a starting-point for studying which was never completely based on a self-movement but rather on having formed the idea of it being possible for me to attain the highest grade.

• Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as though I just want to give up, where I see and realize that my motivation for studying is merely based on the perception I have formed of it being possible for me to attain an A in my final grade, wherein that dependency would result in an experience of being unmotivated when and as I saw myself losing that prospect.

• And so I furthermore forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed everything that I do, and my motivation for actually moving and pushing myself within what I decide to do, to be dependent on and determined by the perception I form of what I am able to attain through my participation – wherein I realize that I will actually merely feel motivated to participate when I have formed the perception of it being possible for me to attain a great result, and so whenever I perceive it as impossible for me to attain a great result I don’t see any purpose to participate – and I realize that this applies to pretty much everything within my reality, where my interpretation of the possible outcome will determine how motivated I feel to participate.

• I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live self-movement within what I do and decide to participate within, but have instead accepted and allowed my perception of the possible outcome to determine how motivated I feel – not seeing or realizing how this is extremely self-limiting, as I become dependent on attaining an experience and belief in regards to seeing an opportunity of possibly attaining an experience of ‘being great’ within what I am doing or going to do for me to actually move myself and enjoy what I do – and so letting my starting-point be permeated with the interpretation I have formed of the possible outcome, and so already before starting something will assess what the outcome may/might be – projecting myself into the future and so preventing myself from moving myself, moment by moment, in self-direction.  

• I commit myself to assist and support myself within my school-participation to not ever accept and allow the experience of being unmotivated and the back-chat “what’s the use” to control and direct me into not studying – and so when I see that the back-chat “what’s the use” emerges within the mind, where an experience of not being motivated comes up, I stop and I breathe – where I commit myself to stop my participation and within that take a stance to move myself out of the mind, where I do not listen and do not trust the mind to tell me what to do but instead I move myself, I take that opportunity to show myself capable of directing myself – and so I take responsibility through re-instructing and re-asserting myself within that moment to become the directive principle of me, where I re-align my starting-point to be ‘I move myself’ and thus practice on that in every moment where I see what needs to be done, and so I move myself to study, I practically sit down and focus, and whenever I see the mind interfere I take a moment to breathe, slow myself down and so move myself back to here and place my attention on practical, physical reality – to in that stop the dependency of experience and ideas about the outcome for me to be able to move myself within what I am doing – to instead make sure that no matter what the outcome may/might be I make sure that I do what needs to be done and so do my best, where I thus remind myself of the fact that this is what matters – as the point of who I am within what I am doing, that this is what shows me WHO I AM and is thus what will form my relationship with myself – because within this I see, realize and understand that who I am within my relationship with me is what gets influenced and determined by who I am within what I am doing, where I realize that I am not trustworthy, that I cannot trust myself really, if I do not show myself and walk my capacity, ability and responsibility to be the directive principle of me – and so, when I see that I experience myself as unmotivated and want to kind of like just ‘give up’ – I remind myself of this, I remind myself of the fact that what I am giving up on is me, is myself, is my integrity and my self-responsibility – that this has nothing to do with school at all but that it is rather about who I decide to be, what I decide to influence and control me – and I do not accept and allow my relationship with me to be and become deteriorated due to me, not taking self-responsibility through making sure that I MOVE myself, but instead I see the moments where I feel unmotivated as opportunities for me to show myself real strength, real self-respect and real self-movement through taking my life in my own hands and so decide to move myself from within to the without and thus replace the experience of attaining motivation from external factors, such as attaining the perception of it being possible for me to attain good results, with a movement as motivation from within, where I move myself as motivation from the within to the without.

When The Best Student Fails - Day 395

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into absolute self-defeat while doing the final exam due to not being capable of answering all of the questions and so accessing and becoming preoccupied by fear of failure – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of failure as an automatic response when coming across a question that I did not understand/did not know the correct answer to – wherein I would thus remain in that experience of fear that the first instance of not knowing the answer to a question set off, and so brought that experience with me throughout the entire exam – consequentially fearing every single upcoming question due to already having created a definition of myself as a failure caused by that first instance as the question that I saw myself being unable to answer correctly.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into stress and anxiety when struggling with a question due to the limited amount of time that I had – wherein I would thus self-sabotage through looking at the watch and within that go into the mind thinking ‘shit, common –fuck I am so slow’ where I essentially just created a point of total black-out as a consequence of going into the mind, judging myself and inflicting stress – which I see, realize and understand merely made it more difficult as I would within that rather make myself ineffective since I was so busy participating within another dimension within the mind instead of actually being here, with me, working with myself to figure the equation out – and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that judging and being hard on myself will push me into working harder and faster – not seeing or realizing that every time I accept and allow myself to participate within stress, fear and anxiety I am only making it harder for myself since I am basically attempting to fight myself into managing to work harder and faster – which results in internal conflict/friction that prevents me from focusing on the only point that is here, which is the question/equation – where I see and realize that what I would require is to actually stand with myself and so work with me instead of against me.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to split myself into two separate entities within the mind through accessing fear, stress and self-anger as a response to perceiving myself not to work hard and fast enough throughout the exam and so within that creating yet another point within me of desire to succeed – and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fear of failure and desire to succeed as two separate points and dimensions of which I utilize to motivate and push myself within an exam – instead of seeing and realizing how this merely limits me from seeing what is here in self-stability and so support myself to walk through the exam moment by moment, breath by breath – because within that my starting-point is based on fear and desire rather than me, being here, walking what needs to be walked.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a perception of the final exam as the most important thing in the world, where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own future and so take it to an extreme through making the possibility of getting a bad grade seem way greater than what it is in practical reality – but within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed manipulation in terms of going into the mind and convincing myself that this whole semester has been worthless and useless, that all the time I have spent studying and stressing about has been for nothing due to now understanding that I will lower my final grade.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the need to judge and blame myself as inadequate due to not nailing the final exam, wherein I would thus go into a point of grief, as though a part of me died with that final exam – which basically is what happened, because within this I see, realize and understand that I had formed a definition of myself based on always nailing the exams thus far, and while being faced with the final exam I realized that that would not be the case this time – which would then trigger such experience of grief/loss – and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear receiving the grade on my final exam due to understanding that the teacher will have to ask me what the hell went wrong – and so I furthermore forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the teacher’s feedback due to having allowed myself to take the result of my performance personally and thus within that understanding that the teacher will point out that I have never performed this bad before – not seeing or realizing that, yes, the teacher will point this out and will most likely get quite surprised by the result to say the least, but that does not mean that I have  to take it personally, it does not mean that I have to blame and judge myself, as who I am, according to the feedback.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional attachment to ‘bad grades’ and ‘failure’ – where I react to everything except nailing the exam in absolute despair and shame – instead of within that seeing and realizing that reacting to it in despair and shame cannot assist or support me in any way, but that I am merely feeding and empowering the point of accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to the grades even more.

I’ll continue on this point tomorrow.

How to Unleash Your Inner Genius - Day 378

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into, trust, give value to and stay within a thought of ‘I don’t get it’ when and as I am studying and perceive myself to be unable to fully grasp the material that I am walking through or when I do not immediately understand how to tackle an equation – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach an energetic reaction of anxiety, fear and frustration to the thought ‘I don’t get it’ – where I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that when I stay in that ‘I don’t get it’, then I won’t actually get it because I am within that accepting and allowing a thought and reaction to blind me from seeing that it’s all here – that I’ve got it and that it is here in me and as me – that the only thing that is preventing me from accessing the information is just a thought and reaction – where I see, realize and understand that I am limiting myself through trusting a thought and through reacting to that thought, instead of within such moments trust myself, slow myself down and breathe where I simply just take in the information.

• I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the thought ‘I don’t get it’ cannot help me in any way but will rather just limit me from really seeing what is here and realizing that I do get it – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed that thought to get in the way, in the sense of accepting and allowing myself to place my trust within and believe a thought to tell me who I am and what I am capable of – instead of seeing and realizing that it is just a thought and reaction – which means that it is when I accept and allow myself to stay in that thought and trust that thought to tell me who I am that I won’t get it – because through accepting and allowing myself to participate within such thought and so the reaction, I give my consent to the mind to tell me who I am within a moment – instead of, within such situations, re-instruct myself and get that thought out of the way so that I can see that I do actually get it, I just have to slow myself down and so allow myself to take in the information.

• In this I commit myself to assist and support myself to get the thought of ‘I don’t get it’ our of the way through no more accepting and allowing myself to trust that thought and stay within that thought – but to instead, when the anxiety/fear/frustration comes up, tell myself ‘Malin, you’ve got it – read slowly, breathe, take in the information, it’s here in me and as me’ – and so realize that I DO have it, it’s just a thought and reaction that is blinding me from seeing that it’s all here.

What Will You Do When Another Gives Up On You?-Day 377

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist asking teachers for help/assistance/support when I am having trouble comprehending something – due to fearing that I will still not understand even if they try to explain something – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will feel stupid if I ask for assistance but will still not comprehend – where I have accepted and allowed myself to, within such situations where I see that I still won’t understand even if another attempts to explain, formed a pattern of automatically going into the experience and belief of myself as being stupid and slow for not immediately understanding – where I consequentially have formed a resistance to and towards asking for help due to the underlying belief of ‘I won’t understand anyway’.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that there is no use in asking teachers for assistance and support when I find myself unable to understand something – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume and expect that other’s will not be able to explain in a way that makes me comprehend due to how this typically happens when I ask for assistance – and I furthermore forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that there is just something wrong with me, that it is my fault that I normally won’t understand when others tries to explain something – and so within this have simply just accepted that point of ‘I won’t understand’ as a part of me – not seeing or realizing how accepting and allowing this definition to exist and constantly reverberate within the back of my head, actually limits and prevents me from fully being here when another person attempts to explain something, because within that there is this one aspect of me that has already beforehand decided that ‘I won’t get it anyway’ – which is a belief that is based on the past, where I am just constantly accessing all the times where I did not understand and in where I am holding on to those instances instead of giving myself a new opportunity in every moment. I mean, I cannot know whether I will comprehend something or not through just accessing the past and trusting that ‘that’s just how it normally is’ – because within that I won’t even give myself a clean slate or a fair shot.

 

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and judge myself as stupid and slow when and as I ask another for assistance/support and when I do not manage to comprehend/understand even if another person attempts to explain – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and judge myself due to seeing how others/teachers tends to ‘give up on me’ in the sense of just explaining once and then, if and when I still don’t ‘get it’, just walking away – which I have allowed myself to interpret as them, giving up on me and seeing it as an impossible task to ‘make me understand’ – not seeing or realizing that just because someone ‘gives up and walks away’ does not automatically mean that I am too stupid or that I am to blame – so, I see, realize and understand that I still have the capacity and the responsibility to decide in such moments who I am going to be in relation to someone walking away, that I still have the capacity and the responsibility to decide how I am going to react – and so I realize that I can, within such situations decide, who I am going to be, how I am going to experience myself and what I will accept and allow and what not – where I realize that another person’s behavior is their behavior, it is not something I must take responsibility for – however, what I do have to take responsibility for is who I am in relation to and as a response to other people’s behaviors.

 

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will give up on me in the sense of attempting to explain something and in where I still won’t understand – and in where this eventually leads another person to just ‘walk away’ – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately, automatically and instantaneously give up on myself and see myself as a failure due to perceiving and interpreting it as though another person gives up on me and so within that just accept the fact that ‘I don’t understand this’ – instead of seeing and realizing that I could actually instead go ‘ok, so that would not help me understand/comprehend – so, let’s find a solution, let’s look at what I do require to understand’ – and so re-instruct myself within such moment to instead of just going ‘I don’t get it, I am stupid’ go ‘ok, let’s look for a solution’ – I mean, why would I want to just give up and feel like shit about myself when I can instead assist and support myself to see it as challenge, as an opportunity to learn, expand and grow? And so within that instead decide to walk the path that I can actually enjoy for myself – I mean it is so simple in the sense of looking at it as just one simple decision that I have to make, to in that just take the decision to see it as ‘ok, don’t understand, cannot compute – let’s take this on, let’s find a solution and let’s walk it!’

To be continued.. 

Stepping Beyond The Fear Of Failure - Day 376

• I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to decide who I am, how I am going to experience myself and so decide my self-worth, but have instead accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that who I am and my self-worth can only be assessed and determined by other people – not seeing or realizing that I can always decide for myself how I am going to see myself – and so, no matter if I perceive it as though another person sees me as totally and completely worthless, I still have the responsibility to decide whether that is something I want to define myself according to or not – and therefor I forgive myself that I have, within and throughout my life, just accepted whatever perception I form in relation to what other people seem to think of me – in where I never within that saw or realized that I was actually responsible for feeling like shit – that I am the only one responsible for how I react to and towards others opinions/my interpretation and perception of other people’s opinions – and so within this I see, realize and understand that I can, in every moment, decide who I am going to be in relation to and as a response towards the opinions I perceive others to form of me – so, why not give myself the opportunity to stand as that awareness in every moment, where I take a stance to stop the automatic pattern of just absorbing every interpretation I form in relation to what others thinks of me and within that instead decide to slow myself down in the sense of actually assessing other people’s opinions in where I within that decide whether that opinion is something I want to accept or not – and so make an actual decision where I see and realize that I can in fact let the opinion bounce back in the sense of not accepting and allowing myself to just automatically and instantaneously absorb it but to instead slow myself down and within me assess whether the opinion really in fact is who I am – or if I am instead going to decide, for myself, who I am, how I am going to experience myself and what my self-worth is. I mean, why would I want to make myself feel like crap when I can decide not to?

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing myself as I did in the past in relation to my school-situation and in relation to the response I received of not doing good enough – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear of experiencing it as though others sees me as a failure, as not good enough, to be and become what moves and motivates me within my current participation within school and studying. In this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I am currently attempting and trying to compensate for the failure I perceived myself to be – where I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have to prove myself good enough and make up for all the apparent failures I committed in the past – not seeing or realizing that through accepting and allowing myself to exist within this construct of ‘attempting to make up for my past’ I am in fact merely feeding a polarity-construct, where I am perpetuating the fear of failure through accepting and allowing that fear to be what guides, moves and directs me to work hard, where I am essentially generating fear as an attempt to obtain the positive side of the polarity of feeling good enough and worthy – not seeing or realizing that this has in fact lead me nowhere, because I see how the experience and belief of myself as being worthless, a failure and not good enough persists – so, the fact that I now have, for years, been an ‘A-student’ does obviously not change anything in relation to how I internally experience and see myself, so – I see, realize and understand that the grades I obtain now cannot make up for the past, it cannot make up for how I internally see and experience myself – and so the only thing that can actually make up for my past and thus release me from the self-beliefs I have created is me, that I can only develop persistent self-acceptance through re-instructing and re-creating myself from the within to the without.

• And so I commit myself to assist and support myself to step beyond the fear of the experience of not being good enough/failing – and within this see, realize and understand that I now have the tools with which to stabilize myself and so therefor I see and realize that I do not require to fear an experience – because I do have me, my breathing and the tools that I require to be able to direct myself out of an experience. Within this I furthermore commit myself to assist and support myself within situations in where I see that I am within the mind speculating about other people’s possible opinions of me – to within such moments no more accept and allow myself to continue my participation within the mind – but to instead immediately stop, where I within this commit myself to take self-responsibility through deciding who I am and how I am going to experience myself – and so I take the decision to stop making myself feel like crap but to instead support myself within my self-relationship through seeing and realizing that I actually do have the ability and the responsibility to decide how I am going to experience myself as a response to the perception I form of what others thinks of me.

How To Stop Feeling Like Crap - Day 375

When looking back at my experience within school I can see that it was as though it did not matter how hard I tried, it did not matter how much time I spent studying – I still just couldn’t make it, it wouldn’t ‘pay off’. After a while I started to see it as useless, I mean – why should I even try when it does not pay off. I realized that whether I would study really, really hard or wouldn’t study at all – I still got the same results. I was ashamed and disappointed at myself, because I worked so hard and put so much effort into studying but I was not good enough anyway. I drew the conclusion that if I wouldn’t study at all, if I just gave up and pretended as though I didn’t give a fuck – then at least it would be ‘my decision’ to get bad results, then it wouldn’t be an outflow of my inadequacies but rather just a conscious decision to not care.

And so now I see that this was what I actually decided to do. I had for many, many years worked so hard, pushed myself so extensively and I still got the same feedback; it’s not enough. I could not do more than what I did, I just couldn’t seem to mold myself, adjust myself and align myself with what was referred to as ‘a good student’. In the end it is not your effort, how much time you dedicate, or how hard you try that gets graded – but rather the scores you get on the exams.

We had these evaluations where you sat down with your parents and the teacher and got feedback on how you were doing. It always felt like an execution. Every semester I studied as much as one could possibly do but I still got negative feedback, it was still not enough – what was I supposed to do? I see how I would immediately and unquestionably just accept what the teachers said and in that trusted their evaluation to be what determined my self-worth. I never even considered looking inside of myself and question what others said about me, or realizing that it was not even about ME per se, I mean it was not my self-worth that was being evaluated – instead I would just absorb it and define myself accordingly, where I would form the belief that I am a failure no matter how hard I try. And so after a while I decided to become what I perceived others to think of me – where I deliberately stopped trying and pretended as though I did not care anymore. I mean, it just seemed easier to take the negative feedback if I had made a deliberate decision to not work hard.

• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the feedback I got from the teachers as a child – where I immediately, instantaneously and unquestionably just accepted and absorbed the teachers opinions of me and my ‘performance’ – not seeing or realizing that they were merely just commenting on and pointing out how I did externally in relation to my ‘performance’ and in that assessing whether the knowledge I possessed were aligned with the instructions that they had in relation to what a student of my age should be able to pull off, that it was not an evaluation of who I was or my self-worth – and so I forgive myself that I have, within and throughout my life, accepted and allowed myself to automatically assume and take for granted that the opinions other people have of my external performances defines who I am, and so thinking and believing that I am not good enough as who I am if other people form negative opinions of my external performances – not seeing or realizing that opinions does not determine or define who I am – therefor I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shape and mold myself according to my perception of others opinions of my external performances – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that after all I am the one that ultimately determines who I am, how I experience myself and who I am going to be in relation/as a response to others opinions – and so I see, realize and understand that I have the ability, the capacity and the responsibility to decide who I am going to be and what I am going to accept and allow myself to define myself by and according to – and I am therefor responsible for who I am in relation to other people’s feedback, where I see and realize that when another person makes an assessment of my performance, it is not in any way an assessment of my self-worth or self-value.

• In this I commit myself to see, realize and understand that no matter what opinion I perceive another person to form of me – I am still capable of deciding who I am going to be in relation to that, where I see, realize and understand that I have the ability, the capacity and the responsibility to decide whether I am going to absorb or question – whether I am going to let perceptions I form in regards to what another person thinks of me/my performance to decide how I am going to experience myself or not. And so therefor I commit myself to, when and as I see or perceive it as though another person forms an opinion of who I am or my external performances, start question what comes up within the mind as a response to my external situation – and within that stop the automatic pattern of just absorbing and just taking it – to instead within me say ‘wait a minute, is this really something that I would want to experience myself as?’ – and so within that I direct and decide for myself who I am – where I no more accept and allow myself to just blindly and automatically ‘take it’ – but to instead question it and realize that I am ultimately the one that decides how I am going to experience myself – so why would I want to make myself feel like shit through taking other people’s opinions personally, when I could instead actually decide to stop, to not accept or allow myself to go there in the sense of taking it personally but to instead decide, in that moment that no, I don’t want to make myself feel like shit anymore – from now on I decide.

To be continued..

When Perfection Isn't Good Enough - Day 367

I got a result back on a school-assignment and the feedback from the teacher went as following; “An A, of course”. These two last words, “of course”, made me realize how this is actually something I have created and linked a fear to and towards, because I see how this is triggering the program that I have created and manifested within me in relation to letting my starting-point behind why I work so extensively hard be based on fear of others disappointment - where I fear that I will not live up to the definition that I perceive others to have of me, especially in regards to teachers. In this I clearly see that teachers sees me as someone who will, “obviously”, always do what needs to be done to get an A. I mean, the last time that I did not receive an A, but instead a B on an exam, I almost started crying. Lol. It’s easy to laugh at it now, as I see how silly it is, but when I got the result back, saying “B, Well done!”, I felt as though my whole world was falling apart. That experience, and the fear thereof, is something that is currently directing me within my everyday participation – where I am constantly and continuously straining myself and pushing myself so hard as an attempt to avoid that experience that emerges within me whenever I perceive that I am not ‘the best’ or ‘achieving the best results as one possibly can’. When I get an A on the other hand, it’s like ‘nothing’ emerges within me, because it just fits my self-definition, it will not trigger anything as it is aligned with ‘my demands’ – so, I see how I am within this constantly pushing myself because of fear of having to face the experience that emerges within me when I am faced with a result that does not fit my self-definition, that is not aligned with what I believe others to expect of me.

So, what I see here is that I have formed a self-definition that is based on the belief and idea I have about what others expect of me in relation to my achievements in school and similar external participations in where one can either attain ‘good’ or ‘bad’ results. And I realize that I fear that other people will feel the same about me as I do when not achieving the best possible result – because I have accepted and allowed myself to, within that; blame, judge, upbraid and criticize myself so extensively and in where I consequentially take for granted and assume that other people, who expect me to achieve ‘the best possible result’, will think and feel the same way about me. I mean, even if I get an A on an exam but have one incorrect answer I will give myself permission to judge myself. Where I only see my ‘mistakes’ and apparent imperfections – and am thus never, ever seeing what I actually do manage to do, because what I manage to do is just like, not important, I will not register it. I mean, I see how I can never within this live self-acceptance or self-trust as I within this instead have decided to overlook and disregard my own capacity and in where I instead only see the small details that I perceive to be ‘imperfect’ and insufficient. In this I see that this is a contributing factor to the reverberating negativity that I incessantly exist within and as, as the current state of my beingness – where I will demand absolute perfection but expect that I will always fail. Realistically looking I see that it is not always possible to attain absolute perfect results; sometimes I might even misspell a word. Lol.

I realize that it is important for me, within my relationship with myself, to really release and free myself from this construct and program. Especially since I will start studying even more subjects in the near future – where I will have even less time, and thus I realize that this means that I must look at my situation rationally, seeing that it is unacceptable for me to continue compromising my self-support as a consequence and outflow of the construct I have manifested in where I constantly prioritize perfecting my external participation/achievements and within that neglect, disregard and put myself second.

I will walk this through with self-forgiveness in blogs to follow.

How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs - Day 366

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the state of my beingness which is based on negativity, constantly and continuously anticipate and expect the worst in the sense of internally/mentally preparing myself for failure and despondency – and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constitute and base my relationship to my external world and reality on the imaginations I form within the mind in relation to the worst possible outcome and scenario – where I have accepted and allowed myself to, within and throughout my life, think and believe that through utilizing and existing within this construct/relationship to my external world/reality I am in a way ‘prepared’ and geared for all the worst possible outcomes/situations that may/might emerge within my reality – and within this accepting and allowing the imagination to be and become the driving-force behind my external participation, where I just automatically give value to and trust the expectations and anticipations that comes up within the mind and in that not seeing or realizing how I am through this actually perpetuating the reverberating negativity, where I am accepting and allowing negativity to permeate and influence my relationship to me and so my relationship to this world as a whole  – and so within this I see, realize and understand that I am accepting and allowing myself to generate and perpetuate this state of negativity through accepting and allowing myself to exist within a construct where I give value to, trust and follow the imaginations where I anticipate and expect ‘the worst’ – and how I am within this not actually ‘preparing’ for ‘the worst’ but am instead creating and manifesting a constant experience of things being ‘impossible’, where I am actually not even giving myself the opportunity to just do what I see needs to be done but am instead already before preparing myself for failure, which in itself will create failure – because within this I see, realize and understand that when I have allowed myself to ‘make up my mind’, in the sense of accepting the imaginations that comes up as expectations of an outcome, I have already created and manifested that outcome and will consequentially manifest it within my practical reality – where I see and realize that I am creating and accepting limitations through forming an expectation within the mind in relation to the result of things. 

 

• Therefor I commit myself to assist and support myself within situations and moments where I am faced with a task/responsibility or see something that I must do and when I notice that back-chats such as; “I won’t make it” starts to come up within the mind, I immediately stop and take a deep breath, in where I slow myself down within the moment and in that stand as the directive principle of me – in where I take the decision to no more accept and allow myself to create and manifest limitations through forming and trusting a belief of myself as ‘not being able to make it’ – but instead I stabilize myself here until no energy is moving me – but where I instead take a stance to move myself, where I furthermore commit myself to live self-trust through practically do what I see needs to be done and within that realize that I can only do my best – but that when and as I accept and allow myself to anticipate failure I am actually self-sabotaging through creating and manifesting that limitation as something that I accept as a part of me – and therefor I no more accept and allow myself to limit myself through trusting imaginations in relation to whether I will manage to do things or fail, but instead I bring myself back to here and so trust myself and my capacity to be here and so do my best in every moment.