The Mind Will Show You Whom You Should Fear - Day 407

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an internal experience of fear and inferiority as an automatic response that gets activated and triggered by and within situations where I am faced with or perceive another person within my surrounding/closest environment to show any form of pattern that I have linked to and see as indications of superiority/authority/dominance - wherein I see and realize that I have formed this automatic response as a program that gets activated within me whenever I perceive another person within my external reality to be superior/dominant as a consequence and result of my past and memories, in this thinking and believing that I must change who and how I am to become submissive and as invisible as I possibly can to prevent the possibility of triggering/activating anger/rage within the person that I interpret to be dominant/superior, due to believing that I am placing myself and my life at risk and in danger if I activate or trigger anger/rage within another – and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to respond to situations wherein I perceive myself to be faced with a person that is dominant/superior through physically changing my behavior and who I am into becoming more silent, repressed and where I suppress and hide myself in the sense of attempting and trying to not cause any ‘trouble’ but rather be silent so that I won’t come across as provocative – and in this just unquestionably accept this continuous response and change in behavior without even considering why, as I see and realize that this behavior is really not assisting or supporting me but is rather making my relationship to me and so my relationship to others completely messed up – where I also see and realize that I do have another option, that I could just as well decide to stop this unsupportive behavior through within the moment decide not to participate, not to respond within an automation but to instead move myself and decide who I am going to be in every situation – and so therefor I realize that it is rather stupid to continue existing within this automation as I realize that it is not helping me, it is not supporting me but rather fucking me up within my relationship to me.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my physical behavior as my posture, movements and interactions within situations and moments where I perceive another person within my surrounding/environment to show any form of pattern that I interpret as indications of dominance/authority/superiority – in where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed moments and situations in where I perceive myself to be faced with a being that I see as dominant/superior to be and become circumstances wherein I habitually and unquestionably change myself as who I am and behave externally – not seeing or realizing that just because I perceive myself to be faced with a being that shows any form of pattern that I have connected to dominance/authority/superiority does not automatically mean that I have to adjust, mold or change myself as who I am – but within this I realize that I have formed a belief of it being important and necessary for me to change myself dependent on how I perceive beings within my environment to be, as an attempt to kind of like form a ‘balance’ – where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my behavior and practical participation due to thinking and believing that if I remain being just me then the whole situation will become out of balance in the context of thinking and believing that the person that I perceive to be dominant/superior would react in anger if I do not practically and physically change myself to become more silent, compliant, submissive and passive.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and link anger and rage to patterns within others that I perceive to be indications of superiority/authority/dominance - wherein I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the inclination to react in rage and anger are greater and more prominent within individuals that I consider to be or show patterns that I have linked to authority/superiority/dominance – and I furthermore forgive myself that I have within this accepted and allowed myself to make assumptions and merely participate within my own imaginations and beliefs in regards to who and how another person is – instead of seeing and realizing that I cannot in any way know or understand the entirety of another person’s entire mind, and so in that I realize that I am drawing conclusions based on previous events and memories instead of allowing myself to participate in that which are here, and so observe and interact with real, actual reality.

• In this I commit myself to practice within situations/moments wherein I see that I have formed a perception of another individual within my surrounding as being dominant/superior/ authority – where I within such instances stand within my awareness, where I see the tendency that I have formed in relation to reacting in fear and letting such fear trigger the pattern and automatic response of going into inferiority – and so within that I commit myself to slow myself down through stopping and breathing when I see myself react due to someone within my environment, where I assist and support myself to prevent myself from going into an automatic response where I change my behavior, but instead practice on remaining here, standing within and as stability and thus assist and support myself through being aware of the pattern and in that no more accept and allow myself to just blindly and automatically follow and comply with – but instead I take my life in my own hands, where I direct myself to take self-responsibility through not accepting and allowing myself to go into a state of inferiority but to instead move and instruct myself to focus on being me, on remaining here and so place my awareness in practical, physical reality – to in that make sure that I only participate in that which exists directly here as the physical – to realize that anything that does not exist directly here as the physical is the mind and is thus not real.