- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to define who I am according to what I externally do/manage
to do – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to think and believe that I have to ‘earn’ value and worth through my
external participation in the sense of achieving, accomplishing and performing
within the frames of what I have learned to define as ‘good’ and ‘valuable’- as
the opinions that I have incorporated from this system/society in relation to
what is being seen as ‘good’ – where I have accepted and allowed myself to
think and believe that I require to ‘enhance’ my value through the things that
I am doing in my practical reality – instead of seeing and realizing that I am
actually denying myself my value and worth as life by implying that I have to
earn it through external achievements – and that what is being defined as ‘good’
within this society/system is not in any way based on what is actually best for
all but essentially determined by what one has to do to ensure one’s survival,
where accomplishments and success are directly connected and linked to money,
to survival, to conquering a contest that only a few can win, and where the
possibility of winning merely exist as a polarity to the majority that has to
loose.
- And so within this I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have to
compete about value with others, where I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to think and believe that I require to conquer through
proving myself worthy through externally performing and achieving ‘better’ than
others – so that I can ensure my own survival.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear that my own survival will be at risk if I
do not live according to the belief and idea that I require to earn value
through externally achieving within the frames of what is being defined as ‘good’
by this society.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed my experience of myself to be conditioned and controlled
by how much and ‘how good’ I perceive myself to perform externally within my
day to day living, where I see and realize that I have allowed the
interpretation/perception/experience that I form as a response to what I have
managed to get done, and the apparent quality of what I have done, within a day
to completely determine how I feel about myself in the context of whether I see
myself as valuable/worthy or not – and I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to just blindly and automatically accept and allow the
experience, perception and belief that comes up within the mind as a response
to how ‘effective’ I apparently am or am not within a moment/situation/day –
instead of seeing and realizing that just because I have made an assessment and
created an opinion in relation to my effectiveness or the quality of what I
have done, where I see it as though I am not aligned with the demands and
expectations I have of myself, it still does not mean that it is legitimate to
judge myself as less worthy or not good enough – but that I have within this
allowed myself to give value to the belief that I somehow get a free pass to
judge myself as inadequate within situations/moments/periods where I practically
assess my performance/participation and conclude that my participation is in
some way not aligned with the definition I have in relation to what is ‘good’.
- In this I commit myself to assist
and support myself when and as I see that I am forming a perception or
experience as a response to my external participation and in relation to the ‘effectiveness’
or quality of what I do – and in where I within this no more accept and allow
myself to continue my participation within judgment but instead I bring myself
back to here, to breathing – where I see and realize that what I do does not
determine my value or worth – and so therefor I commit myself to slow myself
down and realign/correct my starting-point to instead support myself within
what I am doing, where I within my awareness move with me, with breath and so
value myself as life instead of placing my value into what I manage to do –
since I see and realize through doing so I will merely trap myself within a
struggle between superiority and inferiority.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to generate and habitually participate within a desire, want
and need to and towards attaining the experience of being more successful/accomplished/better
than others within the areas of which I participate within in my external world
and reality – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to be and become dependent on such internal experience – where I within that
think and believe that for me to be able to enjoy what I do and motivate myself
to continue my participation, I require to interpret it and experience it as
though I am better/more accomplished than others, or that there is an
opportunity/chance for me to become better than others within that specific
area. – And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my external
participation/involvement to be regulated and determined by the perception I
form within the mind in relation to ‘how accomplished others are within this
area’ – where I see and realize that I have formed an automatic pattern of
constantly and continuously assessing and ranking how good/accomplished others
are within the areas of which I also participate within or consider to start
participating within – where I am kind of like estimating where I am or could/would
be on the parameter/diagram I have formed within the mind – and in this
accepting and allowing the evaluation of ‘where I am/would/could be’ in
relation to others to determine how I experience myself, whether I will feel
good enough or not, if I will continue/start participating and how I feel about
others in regards to either seeing others as superior/a threat or not.
- And so within this I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite people that I perceive to be
better than or more successful/accomplished than me – but at the same time
thinking and believing that if I become ‘better than’ and more successful than
others, then people will be more inclined to accept and like me – not seeing or
realizing how I am revealing and showing to myself that I experience the contrary,
that I am not in any way more inclined to accept/like people that I perceive to
be ‘better’/more accomplished than me but will rather feel threatened and
intimidated by such people where I attempt to deteriorate them just so that I
can feel better about myself – so, how can I trust and give value to the belief
that ‘others will be and become more inclined to accept and like me if I am
better than them’ when my intuition is to dislike and not accept people that I
perceive to be better than me? – Since I would within that rather feel
intimidated, threaten, inadequate and less than such beings.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear that other people will overtake/move faster
than me when it comes to specific areas that I participate within in my
external world/reality – where I have accepted and allowed myself to see everything
as a race, as a competition - and I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to fear ‘falling behind’ or not moving as fast as others, and am
consequentially manifesting an internal reverberating experience of stress and
fear – accepting and allowing myself to participate within and generate a
constant internal conflict, where I am basically attempting and trying to fight
myself into keeping up with others and where I go into an automatic response of
fear whenever I interpret or perceive it as though I am falling behind or am
not moving as fast as others or another person – not seeing or realizing that I
am actually within this completely forgetting about and missing me, who I am
and what really in fact matters – where I get so preoccupied with winning a
race that I haven’t even considered asking myself why? – and within this I see,
realize and understand that the slight experience of ‘accomplishment’ that
emerge within me as a response to the interpretation I form of having accomplished
something or attained perfect results within something, does only last for a
split second – and then I am right back in the competition/race again – and so
I see, realize and understand that I am within this constantly attempting to
run away from the experience of ‘failure’, of being ‘less than others’ – but,
trying to run away from such experience is definitely not a solution, because I
realize that I am preventing myself from facing the fear and facing myself and
the creation I have constructed in relation to the integrated self-belief of
myself, who I am and my self-worth as something that is dependent on and
determined by the accomplishments I manage to achieve externally.
- I commit myself to assist and
support myself to face me, to face my own creation as how I have constructed
and formed my life to be and become a constant race – where I am essentially
running away from myself, from actually caring for myself and from developing
and living self-acceptance – I mean; shit, this is not how I want to live my
life, this is not what I want for myself or would want for anyone within this existence.
And so therefor I commit myself to assist and support myself within moments
where I see that I start to compare myself to others in the sense of assessing
who is better/more accomplished – where I in that immediately stop my
participation and breathe – in where I direct my attention and focus to stop
following, stop participating and stop obeying to what comes up within the mind
– but instead I bring myself back to here, back to breathing, where I correct
myself within such moments through realizing that I am one and equal to others,
that others are parts of me – and therefor I no more accept and allow myself to
separate myself from me through competing with others but instead I direct
myself to slow myself down and work with others, with myself – and so giving
myself the opportunity to face what it is that I am attempting to run away
from, where I have the tools with which to stabilize myself – and so with my
breathing, my self-forgiveness and self-corrections I commit myself to face my
own creation and explore how it is to live a life where I value who I am, and
in that get to know this ‘I’ through removing the current construct that I live
within that is based on valuing and defining this ‘I’ by the mind's
interpretation of what I externally can/do accomplish. Because within this I
see and realize that I am hiding behind external accomplishments, where I fear
facing who I am when peeling off the ‘acceptable image’ I portray and present
to the world. But, I realize that it is time – and so I commit myself to peel
off the layers and face who I am beneath the veil of what I do.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to feel the need to compete with other people in the sense
of comparing myself and who ‘I am’ in my external participation to how I
perceive others to be – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to think and believe that I require to prove to myself that
I am better than others for me to be able to accept myself – not seeing or
realizing that I am merely separating myself from me, and so from others,
through accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to others and within
that compete with the perception I form of who others are within the mind.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I notice or perceive it as
though another person is deliberately attempting and trying to make it seem as
though he/she ‘is better’ in some way or another – and within this I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within fear, inadequacy and inferiority
as a response to seeing/perceiving it as though another person is starting a
competition about ‘who is the best in a specific area’ and in that ‘showing off’
– not seeing or realizing that within such instances/moments/situations I do
not have to go into, partake or participate within the competition – and just
because I perceive it as though another person is ‘showing off’ or attempting
to make him- or herself seem ‘better’ does not automatically mean that I have
to feel inferior or less than – that within situations where I perceive it as
though another person is starting a competition or am trying to put me down to
make themselves seem better, I can actually take the decision to direct myself,
to not participate, to not fuel the competition but to instead make sure that I
remain here, stable, breathing and within that take self-responsibility for any
experience of inadequacy or want/need/desire to partake and respond to the ‘competition’
– where I see, realize and understand that I do not have to show/prove to
another that ‘I am better than what they think’ – since that would merely fuel
the competition and separation even more. And within this I see, realize and understand
that the only reason for competition and comparison is internal insecurities –
and, so why would I want to feed another person’s insecurities and so my own
through taking a ‘competition’ seriously and partake within it?
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear that another person will see or perceive me
as inferior or less than them – and within that thinking and believing that I
have to prove them wrong if or when I interpret it as though another person is,
in some way or another, implying that I am less than them or less than who I
actually am – not seeing or realizing that whether another person sees me, or
sees a limited version of me does not really matter – it can only influence me
if and when I accept and allow myself to take it personally and so believe
myself to be the perception I perceive another to form of me.
- And so therefor I commit myself to
assist and support myself within moments/situations where I perceive it as
though another person is starting a competition about ‘who is the best’ when it
comes to a specific area – where I within this become aware of the tendency of
wanting to participate/partake within the competition due to fear of being seen
as ‘less than who I am’ – and when and as I see that the fear starts to emerge
within me, I commit myself to take a moment, breathe, bring myself back to here
where I see, realize and understand that I do not have to prove myself better
or prove to another that I am not ‘who they think I am’, that I am ‘just as
good as they are’ – no, I do not accept or allow myself to take part in the
competition but instead I make sure that I remain here, stable, breathing – and
within that see, realize and understand that ‘proving another person wrong’
will merely fuel and feed the competition and so the separation – therefor I
commit myself to re-instruct myself within such moments, where I direct myself
out of the want/need/desire to prove someone wrong or make myself ‘look better’
and instead I realize that I know who I am and so therefor I am in no need to
prove to another that I am adequate or ‘just as good as they are’ – and in that
I further realize that through going into such mental competition I will merely
fuel and empower another person’s insecurities and their internal need to prove
themselves as ‘good’ or ‘better than’ – and so I commit myself to instead just
stand here, with and as the other person in the sense of seeing and realizing
that we have both constructed ourselves in a similar way in the sense of
thinking and believing that we are inadequate and that we thus have to prove
ourselves worthy – and so through realizing this I take a stance to instead be and
stand as an example in the sense of showing that we do not have to compete with
each other, that I will not partake.
