Bitch, Stop Competing - Day 383

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the need to compete with other people in the sense of comparing myself and who ‘I am’ in my external participation to how I perceive others to be – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I require to prove to myself that I am better than others for me to be able to accept myself – not seeing or realizing that I am merely separating myself from me, and so from others, through accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to others and within that compete with the perception I form of who others are within the mind.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I notice or perceive it as though another person is deliberately attempting and trying to make it seem as though he/she ‘is better’ in some way or another – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within fear, inadequacy and inferiority as a response to seeing/perceiving it as though another person is starting a competition about ‘who is the best in a specific area’ and in that ‘showing off’ – not seeing or realizing that within such instances/moments/situations I do not have to go into, partake or participate within the competition – and just because I perceive it as though another person is ‘showing off’ or attempting to make him- or herself seem ‘better’ does not automatically mean that I have to feel inferior or less than – that within situations where I perceive it as though another person is starting a competition or am trying to put me down to make themselves seem better, I can actually take the decision to direct myself, to not participate, to not fuel the competition but to instead make sure that I remain here, stable, breathing and within that take self-responsibility for any experience of inadequacy or want/need/desire to partake and respond to the ‘competition’ – where I see, realize and understand that I do not have to show/prove to another that ‘I am better than what they think’ – since that would merely fuel the competition and separation even more. And within this I see, realize and understand that the only reason for competition and comparison is internal insecurities – and, so why would I want to feed another person’s insecurities and so my own through taking a ‘competition’ seriously and partake within it?

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that another person will see or perceive me as inferior or less than them – and within that thinking and believing that I have to prove them wrong if or when I interpret it as though another person is, in some way or another, implying that I am less than them or less than who I actually am – not seeing or realizing that whether another person sees me, or sees a limited version of me does not really matter – it can only influence me if and when I accept and allow myself to take it personally and so believe myself to be the perception I perceive another to form of me.

• And so therefor I commit myself to assist and support myself within moments/situations where I perceive it as though another person is starting a competition about ‘who is the best’ when it comes to a specific area – where I within this become aware of the tendency of wanting to participate/partake within the competition due to fear of being seen as ‘less than who I am’ – and when and as I see that the fear starts to emerge within me, I commit myself to take a moment, breathe, bring myself back to here where I see, realize and understand that I do not have to prove myself better or prove to another that I am not ‘who they think I am’, that I am ‘just as good as they are’ – no, I do not accept or allow myself to take part in the competition but instead I make sure that I remain here, stable, breathing – and within that see, realize and understand that ‘proving another person wrong’ will merely fuel and feed the competition and so the separation – therefor I commit myself to re-instruct myself within such moments, where I direct myself out of the want/need/desire to prove someone wrong or make myself ‘look better’ and instead I realize that I know who I am and so therefor I am in no need to prove to another that I am adequate or ‘just as good as they are’ – and in that I further realize that through going into such mental competition I will merely fuel and empower another person’s insecurities and their internal need to prove themselves as ‘good’ or ‘better than’ – and so I commit myself to instead just stand here, with and as the other person in the sense of seeing and realizing that we have both constructed ourselves in a similar way in the sense of thinking and believing that we are inadequate and that we thus have to prove ourselves worthy – and so through realizing this I take a stance to instead be and stand as an example in the sense of showing that we do not have to compete with each other, that I will not partake.