An Implicit Competition - Day 385

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that what I say/share when communicating/interacting with another person will get attacked/criticized/cut down by the other in where another person use what I say ‘against me’ by implying that what I say/share is inadequate or wrong and that the other being knows more or is better/smarter - and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear saying/sharing something that may/might make the other being experience it as though I am flawed/inferior/less than that being – due to thinking and believing that what another person thinks of me can determine who I am – not seeing or realizing that even if what I say/share does or would get attacked/criticized/cut down by another, it does not necessarily and automatically mean that it is personal or that I require to take it personally but that I do actually have the capacity, the ability and the responsibility to decide who I am in every moment, and that even if or when I perceive it as though another judge me as inferior I am still responsible for how I internally respond to such interpretation – where I see, realize and understand that I am the one making myself inferior through accepting and allowing myself to be and become the judgments I perceive others to form of me or towards something I say, and so therefor I realize that there is actually nothing to fear here, that I require to stand my ground and decide who I am in every moment and thus realize that another person’s response to what I share/speak is a reflection of who they are – and that it is thus no need to take it personally or make it personal.

• Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the person I am interacting with will start an implicit ‘competition’ about who is the best/most educated/most knowledgeable where what I say/share gets ridiculed or repressed – due to thinking and believing that another human being can make me feel inferior, not seeing or realizing that it is only I who can make myself feel inferior through allowing myself to take someone else’s behaviors/words personally and within that making myself a victim through ‘just taking it’ instead of slowing myself down, looking inside of myself and so decide in every moment what I will accept and allow and what not – because within this I see, realize and understand that the reason for why another person’s behaviors/words trigger an experience of inferiority/inadequacy within me is because such program exist within me – where what is shown is that I still have points to work on and correct in regards to who I am within my relationship to me and in relation to self-acceptance, where I realize that within moments/situations where I perceive it as though another person attacks/ridicules what I share/speak are actually awesome opportunities where I can cross-reference where and who I am – where I can utilize such situations to practice on re-instructing myself to observe instead of inverting what comes up within my external reality.

• And so I commit myself to assist and support myself when interacting with other beings, through being aware of who I am within such situations – to in that be able to slow myself down within moments where I see myself going into fear of being attacked/criticized or being seen as inferior/not as good as the other being – and so when I see that fear emerging within me I take a moment to slow myself down with breath and within that I commit myself to stand within and as self-acceptance – where I direct and decide who I am within me, no more accepting and allowing another person to tell me who I am or whether I am inferior or not.

• I furthermore commit myself to assist and support myself within situations and moments where I see that I am interpreting/perceiving it as though another person is starting a competition about who is 'the best' etc. – where I within that immediately direct myself to not participate within such game, but instead I observe what is going on outside of me and within that let it be just that, outside of me – where I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to invert whatever another person are implying but instead I let it play out and within that stand my ground through not accepting and allowing myself to take it personally or inverting it – but instead take such moments as opportunities to see where I am at, cross-referencing if any point within me isn’t clear and so also be able to get to know another being – as I see and realize that it is quite fascinating observing another person’s behavior and it is no need to take it personally or make it personal.