- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to define who I am according to what I externally do/manage
to do – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to think and believe that I have to ‘earn’ value and worth through my
external participation in the sense of achieving, accomplishing and performing
within the frames of what I have learned to define as ‘good’ and ‘valuable’- as
the opinions that I have incorporated from this system/society in relation to
what is being seen as ‘good’ – where I have accepted and allowed myself to
think and believe that I require to ‘enhance’ my value through the things that
I am doing in my practical reality – instead of seeing and realizing that I am
actually denying myself my value and worth as life by implying that I have to
earn it through external achievements – and that what is being defined as ‘good’
within this society/system is not in any way based on what is actually best for
all but essentially determined by what one has to do to ensure one’s survival,
where accomplishments and success are directly connected and linked to money,
to survival, to conquering a contest that only a few can win, and where the
possibility of winning merely exist as a polarity to the majority that has to
loose.
- And so within this I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have to
compete about value with others, where I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to think and believe that I require to conquer through
proving myself worthy through externally performing and achieving ‘better’ than
others – so that I can ensure my own survival.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear that my own survival will be at risk if I
do not live according to the belief and idea that I require to earn value
through externally achieving within the frames of what is being defined as ‘good’
by this society.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed my experience of myself to be conditioned and controlled
by how much and ‘how good’ I perceive myself to perform externally within my
day to day living, where I see and realize that I have allowed the
interpretation/perception/experience that I form as a response to what I have
managed to get done, and the apparent quality of what I have done, within a day
to completely determine how I feel about myself in the context of whether I see
myself as valuable/worthy or not – and I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to just blindly and automatically accept and allow the
experience, perception and belief that comes up within the mind as a response
to how ‘effective’ I apparently am or am not within a moment/situation/day –
instead of seeing and realizing that just because I have made an assessment and
created an opinion in relation to my effectiveness or the quality of what I
have done, where I see it as though I am not aligned with the demands and
expectations I have of myself, it still does not mean that it is legitimate to
judge myself as less worthy or not good enough – but that I have within this
allowed myself to give value to the belief that I somehow get a free pass to
judge myself as inadequate within situations/moments/periods where I practically
assess my performance/participation and conclude that my participation is in
some way not aligned with the definition I have in relation to what is ‘good’.
- In this I commit myself to assist
and support myself when and as I see that I am forming a perception or
experience as a response to my external participation and in relation to the ‘effectiveness’
or quality of what I do – and in where I within this no more accept and allow
myself to continue my participation within judgment but instead I bring myself
back to here, to breathing – where I see and realize that what I do does not
determine my value or worth – and so therefor I commit myself to slow myself
down and realign/correct my starting-point to instead support myself within
what I am doing, where I within my awareness move with me, with breath and so
value myself as life instead of placing my value into what I manage to do –
since I see and realize through doing so I will merely trap myself within a
struggle between superiority and inferiority.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to generate and habitually participate within a desire, want
and need to and towards attaining the experience of being more successful/accomplished/better
than others within the areas of which I participate within in my external world
and reality – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to be and become dependent on such internal experience – where I within that
think and believe that for me to be able to enjoy what I do and motivate myself
to continue my participation, I require to interpret it and experience it as
though I am better/more accomplished than others, or that there is an
opportunity/chance for me to become better than others within that specific
area. – And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my external
participation/involvement to be regulated and determined by the perception I
form within the mind in relation to ‘how accomplished others are within this
area’ – where I see and realize that I have formed an automatic pattern of
constantly and continuously assessing and ranking how good/accomplished others
are within the areas of which I also participate within or consider to start
participating within – where I am kind of like estimating where I am or could/would
be on the parameter/diagram I have formed within the mind – and in this
accepting and allowing the evaluation of ‘where I am/would/could be’ in
relation to others to determine how I experience myself, whether I will feel
good enough or not, if I will continue/start participating and how I feel about
others in regards to either seeing others as superior/a threat or not.
- And so within this I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite people that I perceive to be
better than or more successful/accomplished than me – but at the same time
thinking and believing that if I become ‘better than’ and more successful than
others, then people will be more inclined to accept and like me – not seeing or
realizing how I am revealing and showing to myself that I experience the contrary,
that I am not in any way more inclined to accept/like people that I perceive to
be ‘better’/more accomplished than me but will rather feel threatened and
intimidated by such people where I attempt to deteriorate them just so that I
can feel better about myself – so, how can I trust and give value to the belief
that ‘others will be and become more inclined to accept and like me if I am
better than them’ when my intuition is to dislike and not accept people that I
perceive to be better than me? – Since I would within that rather feel
intimidated, threaten, inadequate and less than such beings.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear that other people will overtake/move faster
than me when it comes to specific areas that I participate within in my
external world/reality – where I have accepted and allowed myself to see everything
as a race, as a competition - and I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to fear ‘falling behind’ or not moving as fast as others, and am
consequentially manifesting an internal reverberating experience of stress and
fear – accepting and allowing myself to participate within and generate a
constant internal conflict, where I am basically attempting and trying to fight
myself into keeping up with others and where I go into an automatic response of
fear whenever I interpret or perceive it as though I am falling behind or am
not moving as fast as others or another person – not seeing or realizing that I
am actually within this completely forgetting about and missing me, who I am
and what really in fact matters – where I get so preoccupied with winning a
race that I haven’t even considered asking myself why? – and within this I see,
realize and understand that the slight experience of ‘accomplishment’ that
emerge within me as a response to the interpretation I form of having accomplished
something or attained perfect results within something, does only last for a
split second – and then I am right back in the competition/race again – and so
I see, realize and understand that I am within this constantly attempting to
run away from the experience of ‘failure’, of being ‘less than others’ – but,
trying to run away from such experience is definitely not a solution, because I
realize that I am preventing myself from facing the fear and facing myself and
the creation I have constructed in relation to the integrated self-belief of
myself, who I am and my self-worth as something that is dependent on and
determined by the accomplishments I manage to achieve externally.
- I commit myself to assist and
support myself to face me, to face my own creation as how I have constructed
and formed my life to be and become a constant race – where I am essentially
running away from myself, from actually caring for myself and from developing
and living self-acceptance – I mean; shit, this is not how I want to live my
life, this is not what I want for myself or would want for anyone within this existence.
And so therefor I commit myself to assist and support myself within moments
where I see that I start to compare myself to others in the sense of assessing
who is better/more accomplished – where I in that immediately stop my
participation and breathe – in where I direct my attention and focus to stop
following, stop participating and stop obeying to what comes up within the mind
– but instead I bring myself back to here, back to breathing, where I correct
myself within such moments through realizing that I am one and equal to others,
that others are parts of me – and therefor I no more accept and allow myself to
separate myself from me through competing with others but instead I direct
myself to slow myself down and work with others, with myself – and so giving
myself the opportunity to face what it is that I am attempting to run away
from, where I have the tools with which to stabilize myself – and so with my
breathing, my self-forgiveness and self-corrections I commit myself to face my
own creation and explore how it is to live a life where I value who I am, and
in that get to know this ‘I’ through removing the current construct that I live
within that is based on valuing and defining this ‘I’ by the mind's
interpretation of what I externally can/do accomplish. Because within this I
see and realize that I am hiding behind external accomplishments, where I fear
facing who I am when peeling off the ‘acceptable image’ I portray and present
to the world. But, I realize that it is time – and so I commit myself to peel
off the layers and face who I am beneath the veil of what I do.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear that what I say/share when communicating/interacting
with another person will get attacked/criticized/cut down by the other in where
another person use what I say ‘against me’ by implying that what I say/share is
inadequate or wrong and that the other being knows more or is better/smarter -
and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear saying/sharing something that may/might make the other being experience it
as though I am flawed/inferior/less than that being – due to thinking and
believing that what another person thinks of me can determine who I am – not
seeing or realizing that even if what I say/share does or would get
attacked/criticized/cut down by another, it does not necessarily and
automatically mean that it is personal or that I require to take it personally
but that I do actually have the capacity, the ability and the responsibility to
decide who I am in every moment, and that even if or when I perceive it as
though another judge me as inferior I am still responsible for how I internally
respond to such interpretation – where I see, realize and understand that I am
the one making myself inferior through accepting and allowing myself to be and
become the judgments I perceive others to form of me or towards something I say,
and so therefor I realize that there is actually nothing to fear here, that I
require to stand my ground and decide who I am in every moment and thus realize
that another person’s response to what I share/speak is a reflection of who
they are – and that it is thus no need to take it personally or make it
personal.
- Within this I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the person I am interacting with
will start an implicit ‘competition’ about who is the best/most educated/most
knowledgeable where what I say/share gets ridiculed or repressed – due to
thinking and believing that another human being can make me feel inferior, not
seeing or realizing that it is only I who can make myself feel inferior through
allowing myself to take someone else’s behaviors/words personally and within
that making myself a victim through ‘just taking it’ instead of slowing myself
down, looking inside of myself and so decide in every moment what I will accept
and allow and what not – because within this I see, realize and understand that
the reason for why another person’s behaviors/words trigger an experience of
inferiority/inadequacy within me is because such program exist within me –
where what is shown is that I still have points to work on and correct in
regards to who I am within my relationship to me and in relation to
self-acceptance, where I realize that within moments/situations where I
perceive it as though another person attacks/ridicules what I share/speak are
actually awesome opportunities where I can cross-reference where and who I am –
where I can utilize such situations to practice on re-instructing myself to
observe instead of inverting what comes up within my external reality.
- And so I commit myself to assist and
support myself when interacting with other beings, through being aware of who I
am within such situations – to in that be able to slow myself down within
moments where I see myself going into fear of being attacked/criticized or
being seen as inferior/not as good as the other being – and so when I see that
fear emerging within me I take a moment to slow myself down with breath and
within that I commit myself to stand within and as self-acceptance – where I direct
and decide who I am within me, no more accepting and allowing another person to
tell me who I am or whether I am inferior or not.
- I furthermore commit myself to
assist and support myself within situations and moments where I see that I am
interpreting/perceiving it as though another person is starting a competition
about who is 'the best' etc. – where I within that immediately direct myself to
not participate within such game, but instead I observe what is going on
outside of me and within that let it be just that, outside of me – where I
commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to invert whatever another
person are implying but instead I let it play out and within that stand my
ground through not accepting and allowing myself to take it personally or inverting
it – but instead take such moments as opportunities to see where I am at,
cross-referencing if any point within me isn’t clear and so also be able to get
to know another being – as I see and realize that it is quite fascinating
observing another person’s behavior and it is no need to take it personally or
make it personal.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear the experience of being ‘less than’ or inferior to
another person – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to form a pattern of going into an internal competition with
others where I feel the need to assert myself and prove to others that ‘I am
just as good as you are’ whenever I perceive or interpret it as though another
person is sharing or talking about their achievements/performances/accomplishments
or are in some way acknowledging their own ‘success’ – where I within that have
accepted and allowed myself to go into an experience of being inferior/less
than/not as good as – and will consequentially attempt and try to obtain the other
side of the polarity, where the desire to feel ‘good enough’ and ‘just as good
as’ comes up within me, where I am essentially trying to balance out the
internal fear and negative experience of ‘not being as good as another’ through
going into an internal competition where I feel the need to assert myself to be
able to obtain the positive experience of being ‘just as good as’.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to form an automatic pattern of wanting to, and
believe that I require to, assert myself and prove that I am ‘just as good as another’
immediately whenever another person talks about their achievements/performances/accomplishments
– and within that thinking and believing that another person will ‘think less
of me’ or see me as inferior if I do not respond in the sense of letting them
know that whatever they can or have accomplished is something that I have
accomplished or am capable of as well – and so within this I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will ‘think less of me’
if or when I do not prove to myself and to others that I am ‘just as good as them’
.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to immediately and automatically go into the mind
and compare myself to other people/another person whenever a being share/talk
about an achievement/accomplishment – and within this I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to validate a
belief/idea/perception of myself in relation to being ‘just as good as the
other person’ through going into and participating within an internal
competition where I give value to and participate within the fear of ‘losing’
in the context of internally experiencing and perceiving myself to be
inadequate and inferior and so within that feed and empower the desire to be
able to validate a perception of myself as being ‘just as good as’ or better
than/superior to the other being – where I within this forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to be and become spiteful within me whenever I
perceive it as though another person is bragging in the sense of attempting to
appear as ‘better than’ or superior in some way – where I have allowed that
perception of others to be and become a trigger-point within me where I will
automatically respond through going into the tall poppy syndrome as a result of
my internal fear of being seen as less than/not as good as/inadequate – and so
within that go into resent because of another person’s achievement and my
perception thereof merely because of my own internal fear of not being able to
validate a belief/idea/perception of myself in relation to being ‘just as good
as others’ and due to the desire to be able to obtain the internal experience
of being better/superior.
- Within this I commit myself to
assist and support myself within situations/moments where I perceive it as
though another person share/talk about their
achievements/performances/accomplishments or are in some way acknowledging their
‘success’ and in where I within me see that fear of being/being seen as less
than/inferior to emerge within me and so the want/need/desire to assert myself
and prove to others that I am ‘just as good as you’, I within that take a
moment to slow myself down, where I breathe and ground myself here – and so
within that see, realize and understand that I do not require to prove anything
– and so instead I take my place within myself where I move myself out of the
fear and so the desire and instead direct myself where I decide to accept
myself, and so realize that I do not require to externally assert myself or
make myself seem ‘just as good as another’ because within me I stand as and
within that point of self-acceptance for myself unconditionally. And so within
this I commit myself to practice this point of simply remaining here, where I
slow myself down and simply listen to and focus on what the being is sharing,
where I direct myself to listen instead of attempting and trying to come up
with some form of response within the mind which will ‘prove me just as good as’
but instead I give myself self-acceptance and so move myself out of the
competition and instead place my focus and attention on what is really here as
the interaction I am participating in.
