How to Stop Being a People Pleaser - Day 402

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and resist stopping the pattern of attempting and trying to decode other people’s personal preferences in regards to who I perceive that I have to be or what sides/aspects of me that I have to enhance and present of myself to be able to trigger, activate and generate positive experiences, opinions and internal thoughts/back-chats within the people/person that I am encountering – wherein I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I cannot just simply let myself be me and express myself as who I am – but that I rather have to decode and assess what other people will react and respond to within and with a positive experience and thus align and mold myself accordingly – because being me is apparently not enough – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, want and need to attain the experiences of fitting in and being approved of and accepted by others, wherein I have allowed who I am when interacting with others to be and become influenced and conditioned by this desire to be able to confirm that others approve of me as the ‘who I am’ – instead of seeing and realizing that letting such desire, want and need to guide and move me has really in fact lead me nowhere – in the sense of looking at my underlying starting-point which is to get approved of, accepted and feel as though I am ‘a good person’, someone that is appreciated, respected and loved – and in that I realize that I am denying myself acceptance, self-approval, self-respect and self-appreciation - that I am, through looking for such aspects/points externally, stating that I refuse to give these points to myself, to live these points for myself as parts and points of me – and so I see and realize that for as long as I accept and allow myself to deny myself that which I see myself require within my relationship to me through searching for it outside of myself, I am at the same time making my relationship to me, to who I am and to how I see myself dependent on external factors which I really in fact CANNOT CONTROL – since I see and realize that how others may/might react and respond to who I am does not, and cannot, define, portray or depict who I really am – since what others think and feel about me would rather represent who they are in relation to looking at their life-experiences and memories – where I realize that who I am in other people’s minds will get filtered through layers of memories, past events, inherited opinions, beliefs and so on – since I see and realize that these are aspects, points and layers that I see through as well, where I realize that when I react towards something within positivity or negativity, then that is a result and outcome of how I have created my mind through memories and past events – as such I realize that when and how I internally react towards external circumstances and other people, is a result of my own acceptances and allowances and that I am thus responsible – and through that I also realize that how another reacts and responds to me, and how others perceives/sees me, is not something I can control – as I have no idea how others entire mind works – and within this I furthermore see and realize that it is mind-reactions, not even the real person – so there is really no reason for me to take it personally, fear certain reactions and desire others – that the real solution here would rather be to investigate and look at the aspect and points that I am searching for externally and so focus on how I can incorporate and give myself such points – so that I within this can stop letting my relationship with me be dependent and conditioned by external points which I cannot control.

• When and as I see that I am attempting and trying to decode and assess who I should be and present myself as to be able to activate, trigger and generate positive experiences/opinions/perceptions/ideas within the people/person that I am interacting with – I stop and I breathe – where I commit myself to be aware of who I am when being/interacting with others and thus aware of the tendency of attempting and trying to decode and assess who I should be to be able to confirm and experience it as though others approve of, accept and validate who I am – wherein I stop myself when I see myself activating this program through the fear of ‘what others may think’ – and so re-instruct myself to take a moment, breathe, and instead place my focus on being me – and in that I furthermore commit myself to work on my relationship with me from the perspective of stopping my participation within the search for external confirmation and validation and instead investigate and explore how I can give myself that which I see myself looking for externally, how and what I require to be able to really accept myself – to in that make sure that I take responsibility for standing stable within myself, accepting me, no matter how I perceive others to respond/react to me – to in that break the dependency and enslavement that I have formed towards external circumstances and instead focus on that which I actually can control, that which I do have the ability, the capacity and the responsibility to change – as the relationship I have with myself from the perspective of what and why I deny myself that which I see myself require to be able to stop the endless external search and dependency – because within this I see and realize that being me, and actually accepting myself, is really something that I would want within my life and within my relationship to me – so, therefor I commit myself to, within this life, within my life, really embrace the opportunity to live within equality and oneness with myself through giving myself self-acceptance and self-respect – because where the pattern of searching for such aspects outside of me has lead me is really just nowhere, and will thus not lead to anything else in the future either – so therefor I commit myself to explore and investigate where I can lead myself with taking my life in my own hands and so decide to live self-acceptance for myself, to live self-respect for myself, to stand with myself instead of against myself.