- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to create and form an ideal within the mind, consisting of the
self-image that I desire and want myself to be and become – as the idea I have
of who or what I have to be, as who I think and believe that I require to become
for me to be able to be satisfied with myself, for me to be able to stop
judging myself as inadequate and for me to be able to be confident and stop
comparing and stop competing with others – not seeing or realizing that what
fuels and empowers this internal experience of having to become something or
someone else then who I am and believe myself to be, as what I have allowed
myself to define myself as and by, to be able to become comfortable, confident
and satisfied with and within myself is my own participation, where I realize
that I accept and allow myself to actually take the decision to deliberately go
into, give value to and trust the idea that comes up within the mind as an
imagination of it being ‘who I am’ that is the problem, that is lacking, not
seeing and realizing that it is not the ‘who I am’ that is what needs to be
changed or aligned with the internal ideal I have formed, but it is rather the
definitions, perceptions and ideas I have in relation to who I am and how I see
myself that I require to change and recreate and that what needs to be stopped
is the value I allow myself to give to the ideal I have formed within the mind –
where I see and realize that the ideal I have formed within the mind is based
on external knowledge and information which I have given value to and trusted
to be what and who I need to be and become – where I have essentially
brainwashed myself into trusting and incorporating external messages and
propaganda in regards to ‘who and how one should be’ – instead of giving myself
the opportunity to trust myself to look within me, and so trust the actual understanding
I have in relation to how external messages about what is ideal and what is
not, are not in any way based on what is really in fact valuable within a human
being – as each being’s individual expression – wherein what is being taught
and encouraged within the system are rather the opposite – and I mean; how fun
would it be if every being became just copy of each other, just a bunch of clones?
Is that the type of world I would want to live within? No – so I see, realize
and understand that I would rather see individuals that actually dare living self-expression,
that dare standing up for who they are
as their real beingness, and so within this I see and realize that I have the
responsibility to be what I want to see within this world in terms of no more
accepting and allowing myself to attempt and try to be and become the ideal I
have formed within the mind as the apparent perfect self-image just so that I
can experience it as though I fit into the frame of what is being seen as an
acceptable image that I can present to the world – but to instead investigate,
find out and explore who I REALLY am, what it REALLY means to live
self-expression and within that practically establish self-acceptance where I live
the courage that I wish to see within this world, within other people – and so
realize that that would actually be so much more awesome than what it would be
to become just a clone, just another copy of the images and ideals that is
being imposed from this external world and reality – I mean, how can I trust this
society, when actually looking at how this system functions, to tell me who I
should be – when looking outside of myself and seeing the result of what we
have collectively accepted and promoted and followed and complied with?
- I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to create a pattern in where I am making things harder and
more difficult than what they actually are through self-sabotaging, in the
sense of looking at my external reality and so my external
participations/responsibilities and daily living and within me deciding to see
it as hard and as difficult – where I am habitually generating and perpetuating
an internal struggle and so experiences of stress and anxiety – where I have in
a way become so used to experiencing everything as hard and as difficult that I
am deliberately continuing to make things difficult for myself, where I in a
way want to struggle/fight as an addiction to inherent patterns – and within
this I see, realize and understand that I am actually making most things within
my life so much harder and much more difficult than what they have to be –
where I continually ensure a life of struggle through holding on to a belief in
relation to how I think that my life will turn out, a belief in relation to how
I think that my life has to be – not seeing or realizing that I am the only one
that is responsible for the struggle I am currently experiencing, that just
because my life has been a struggle in the past does not mean that I have to
persevere in such direction – that I now actually do have the ability to take
power over my own life and living and in that decide what type of starting-point
and approach I want to have towards my participation – where I now see, realize
and understand that the current approach I have towards every aspect of my life
are permeated with an internal experience of struggle – where I actually have
allowed myself to become addicted to struggling, to making things hard, to
self-sabotaging through constantly anticipate failure, misery and difficulties.
- I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to just accept my life to be hard and difficult –
where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly
expect, assume and anticipate that I will always be faced with difficulties,
that that is just how my life is and has always been – where things that can ‘go
wrong’ will go wrong – not seeing or realizing how I am within this
self-sabotaging through accepting and allowing myself to constantly assume that
anything bad that can happen, will happen to me – because within this I see,
realize and understand that when I assume that things will be difficult and
hard, I am consequentially creating such a life for myself – and within this I
see, realize and understand that it is time for me to take my life in my own
hands and in that re-instruct, re-create and re-establish my approach towards
my external participation – and so I commit myself to further investigate this
point, as the addiction to inherent patterns, and within that stop the pattern
of deliberately creating struggles within my life – but to instead see what I
can do, who I can be and how I can experience myself within my life and living
if I stop the tendency of self-sabotaging through making everything so
difficult.
